Philophobia

Chapter 2

A/N:

I attached the song Phil is always humming okay its not the original but its cute ok ok

xx

The man's words rang through Dan's mind like a bell encircling his inner thoughts. For once his anxious little disposition of sentiment had been pushed to aside as he began to ponder the thoughts playing in his mind. There were endless possibilities of disenchanting thoughts that would usually spur.

Think about happy things?

Write them down?

It made Dan feel slightly apprehensive, as if he was some infant told to cover their ears or eyes when swearing or obscene things were in sight. It made him partly feel infantile, but he tried to follow the instructions he had been told.

It wasn't easy trying to pick things to write down about. Most of the stuff that occurred in Dan's daily life was sleeping. Two days had dissipated in meteoric fashion. Nothing.

He had no words, his homework was incomplete. Sure he could lie, but that wouldn't be helping him in any way. Glancing down at his blank notebook was distressing. There hadn't been a single joyful moment in the past 48 hours whatsoever.

Dan's anxious stomach woke him up early. He wouldn't be able to get to sleep anymore. Normally when he slept, music would be blasted through his earphones to drown out any wondering thoughts to keep his insomnia alive. So he wondered around his room mindlessly. He couldn't tell what time it was, but the room was dimly lit by an illuminating orange. It was dark, but he could make out objects due to the light diving in through the window. It peaked through the gap in the curtains.

Dan sat beside his window, peering outside nonchalantly, pushing them to aside. Finally, something that made him smile. The beautiful sunrise. He hadn't seen one in a long while, all his past ones had been due to staying up all night. He could never appreciate it due to his thoughts being too loud. But now, through hid bloodshot eyes and ruffled hair, he looked down at his clothes and chuckled softly to himself. He was a mess.

But Dan raised his head back up to see the blast of orange filling the sky. As if the light in England was being turned on, the darkness was pushed away as the moon disappeared. Upon the horizon, light. He could see less clear when his eyes were half-shut, a split second later realising that it was because he was smiling. An actual smile, his lips had turned upwards, eyes half shit and crinkled at the side. Laugh lines appeared, every one of his imperfections on show, due to something as simple as a sunrise.

And then an overwhelming urge to climb back into bed became of him and another milestone in a very long time occurred. He was able to sleep properly.

**

"Hello Dan! How have you been?" Phil asked, hands on his chin leaning against his desk.

Dan stirred in his chair, glancing at just below his eyes as that was all he could manage. He simply nodded in return, feeling just as uncomfortable as he did at the beginning of the last session. He abruptly stood up.

PHIL'S POV

Dan stood up, shuffling closer to my desk and placing a small notebook on it. I leant closer, taking it and reading over it. Dan's handwriting was surprisingly perfectly neat.

h/w 30/12/15

Dan Howell - What makes you smile

I have only discovered one thing that made me smile in the past two days. This thing was the occurrence of the sunrise. I was abruptly woken, and like a zombie I sat before my window in awe. I was paralysed, I didn't know what to do with myself, the beauty of it astounded me. The colours made me want to stare at it forever.