Just The Benefits (PUBLISHED)

Kabanata 70

He briefly threw me a glance and smiled. I smiled back at him.

"Nitong mga nakaraang buwan, alam ko na maraming kumakalat na balita tungkol sa akin," he said. He was very calm for someone who's about to confirm the gossips surrounding him. Ilang buwan na maraming espekulasyon tungkol sa akin. I begged him to not confirm anything. At first, he got annoyed at me. Iyon siguro ang unang beses na nainis sa akin si Shiloah. I sucked it up because I was so tired of people following me around. Balita pa lang iyon pero halos sundan na ako ng mga fans ni Shiloah. Paano pa kapag nalaman nila iyong totoo? Pakiramdam ko ay baka hindi na muna ako lumabas.

"Her name is Imo and yes, I am very much in love with her."

Mula sa katahimikan ay naging maingay sa loob ng arena. I braced myself for this. Tanggap ko naman na hindi lahat, tatanggapin. I had long acknowledged the fact that some people just can't accept that their idols are humans who live a life.

"I never meant to lie but her happiness and safety are my priorities. The past months have been hard at kapag nalaman pa ng publiko na kami talaga, baka mas mapagod pa siya."

My heart started beating fast. He's about to announce my pregnancy.

"You see, we're pregnant and a month from now, there'd be a little Imo in our life."

Mas lumakas ang ingay sa arena. May ilan na nanlaki ang mata sa gulat, mayroong mga naka-ngiti, mayroon din namang halata iyong pagkagulat at dismaya. Iba-iba ang mga reaksyon nila at hindi ko mapigilan na kabahan kahit hindi naman dapat. After this, we're on our own.

"Humihingi ako ng tawad kung iniisip niyo na niloko ko kayo. Sana malaman niyo na hindi ko gusto na lokohin o paasahin ko kayo. Gusto ko lang kumanta at magpasaya ng tao pero mas mahal ko si Imo at 'yung anak namin."

Nagkaroon ng nakakabinging katahimikan sa arena. Para akong tanga na naghihintay sa isang tunog—kahit ano 'wag lang itong katahimikan. Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ang nararamdaman nila. The silence wasn't giving away anything.

But then someone clapped.

And another followed.

And another one.

Until the arena was reverberating with applauses.

Para akong maiiyak sa sobrang tuwa. Alam ko na hindi ako dapat mag-alala sa iisipin ng iba dahil buhay ko 'to but knowing that Shiloah's fans accepted his decision was making my heart swell with too much happiness.

Nagkaroon ng mga sigawan sa arena. Maraming sumisigaw ng I love you, Shiloah! Umiiyak ako habang tumatawa. I held my tummy and whispered, "Naririnig mo 'yun, baby? Tanggap ka nila," and smiled because of the fact that Shiloah's still loved. I love Shiloah and I didn't want him to be hated for something he had no control over. Alam ko na mahal niya kami pero gusto ko na mahal pa rin siya ng mga tao. He's too good a human being to be hated just because he manned up and took his responsibility.

I looked at Shiloah and he was smiling. I was a little far from where he was standing but I saw glisten in his eyes.

"This would be my last concert and I'll be quitting showbiz," he announced and silence followed again. I could hear hearts breaking.

"Gwapo ka pa rin kahit may anak ka! 'Wag kang tumigil!"

"Tanggap namin si baby kaya please 'wag kang tumigil!"

"Paasa ka rin kagaya ng ex ko! Iiwan mo rin pala ako!"

Iba-ibang reaksyon. Nagkagulo sa ingay. I knew it would come as a shock to them. Kahit naman ako, ayoko na tumigil si Shiloah but it was his decision. I respect his decision kahit na hindi ako sang-ayon doon.