pinky promise ; halsanie

instagram (bonus chapter)

january 16th, 4:59am

crybxby: so i guess this is it

crybxby: marina isn't home now so i have my chance to do this

crybxby: you're not alive, but i'll send you a suicide note anyway. i guess that's what you're supposed to do when you kill yourself? but i guess i'm mostly saying this to get it off my chest

crybxby: i'm sorry. if i hadn't snapped at you this would have never happened

crybxby: i wish i could take it all back. i wish words were like toy guns, if that makes sense. no hurt, no bullet. just a 'bang bang' rolling off your tongue, you know?

crybxby: why did you have to do it, ash?

crybxby: you told me you loved me, so why did you go?

crybxby: your name is now forever the name on my lips. kind of like our last kiss

crybxby: fuck. i never thought we'd ever last kiss

crybxby: i never imagined we'd end like this

crybxby: fuck

crybxby: i'm so sorry

crybxby: i've fucked so much up

crybxby: i hate myself for this

crybxby: even though you're dead, even if you hate me, you'll always be my favorite la devotee. i remember all the fun times we had in that group chat

crybxby: everything went to shit when tanner left us

crybxby: on the bright side, you'll be able to be with tanner now

crybxby: i don't know why i'm sending these messages, to be honest with you. i'm never going to get to see "ashley is typing" ever again. i blew my chance

crybxby: but that doesn't matter anymore

crybxby: i guess i'll go sit on the floor, wearing your favorite shirt. i already left a note for marina, i have the sleeping pills

crybxby: i doubt you wanted me to leave the same way you did. you probably wanted me to stay away from you, or to be able to live a full happy life

crybxby: but humans are selfish bastards, and i'm only human

crybxby: normally you'd say goodbye in suicide notes, but i guess it's better if i say hello

crybxby: i'll see you soon. i'll fix everything i've messed up

crybxby: i pinky promise