The Teddy Bear Treatment

1. Stay For A While

12 Years Ago

The cool September air blows my hair behind my shoulders. The sandbox is my favorite thing to play in when it's recess.

I don't have many friends but I don't really mind.

I love building sandcastles. I love creating things with sand. I feel like making something gives me some sort of control. At home I stay quiet and at school I stay quiet, they say I'm a mute but really I just don't like people worrying about me. Kayde, my older brother, died a year ago and my mommy is still jumpy and teary eyed about it. She has enough to worry without me. Her and daddy have enough to worry without me.

"Your sandcastles are stupid." Evan a boy in my class towers over me insulting my sandcastles but I ignore him. I continue to make my sandcastles when he grabs my plastic yellow shovel and chucks it towards the playground.

Immune to his rudeness I use my hands next to shovel up sand and fix the sides of my sandcastles.

It must have angered Evan to not get any reaction from me because the next thing he does is the lowest thing I think anyone could do.

He lifts up a foot as he smashes my perfect sandcastle. He kicks sand everywhere and laughs like a happy child winning a fun game. Except his games are never fun. Sand hits my eyes making them water, I try to wipe it out of my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Crybaby! Crybaby! Crybaby!" Evan chants as tears flow out of my eyes onto my cheeks. Once I get the sand out of my eyes I see clearly and watch as a boy walks up to Evan.

His face is scrunched up looking mad, "Leave her alone, she's just a girl!" He yells into Evan's face. Evan takes the challenge and retorts to the boys command,

"And if I don't, what are you going to do about it?" Evan touches chests with the brown haired boy.

"Then I'll tell the teacher." A spark of fright flashes onto Evans face but soon disappears until it's left to hinder in his eyes.

"Fine." Evan walks off without a single glance back. When Evan finds something else to distract himself with, the boy turns to me with a sweet friendly smile.

"Hi. Can I sit here?" He asks gently. I don't say a word just nod. I send him a grateful smile. He hands me my yellow shovel and shys back when I give him another small smile.

"You don't really talk huh?" I nod my head answering him silently, "But can you talk."

I nod to him for the third time.

"Will you at least tell me your name?" This time I shake my head and pretend to zip my lips. The sweet boy laughs and it's the loveliest things I've ever heard.

His light blue eyes on me make me feel butterflies and I try not to look into them. "I don't have a lot of friends." He says, "do you wanna be friends?" I grin and obviously say yes to answer his question. No one's ever had the patience to be friends with me being quiet and all.

The bell rings and the sweet boy says goodbye as we both retreat to class.

~~~~

I wait for the sweet boy to arrive in the sandbox again and continue building sandcastles like yesterday. I also keep an eye open for Evan in case he's lurking somewhere close by.

"Hi there again." The sweet boy with a smile greets me. He sits across from me with legs crossed. We spend the next ten minutes in silence building sandcastles.

The bell is close to ringing to signal us the end of recess and the boy speaks,

"I brought you something." I tilt my head and give him a questioning expression. Second day and he has a gift for me?

He scoots closer to me and from his backpack he pulls out a small brown teddy bear. I gasp in aw and cautiously take the bear from his hands. In excitement I turn and hug him. Astounded he hugs me back and I pull back slightly to whisper in his ear, "You will always be my bestfriend." I pull away from the tight embrace and find a wide cheerful grin. He tries to kiss my cheek but without thinking I turn and he places a chaste kiss on my lips.

We stare wide eyed and the bell rings. For a second we sit there paralyzed from the innocent kiss. I dismiss it by smiling lightly, "I'll see you tomorrow." I say and wave scampering off to my class leaving him to gawk at me as I left him, but before I could have gone any further I could have sworn that I heard him say, "Goodbye Harley."

The following day I wait for him at our original meeting spot. I wait.. And wait. And wait. He doesn't show up. I concluded that he might have stayed home sick. But as days drew by he never came back. I've looked for him but he was gone. I didn't see him, he was the first person that had heard me speak after my brothers death, my first bestfriend, and my first kiss.

I missed him for quite a while but his kindness helped me break out of my shell. Maybe it was okay to have friends just as long as I kept my private life and worries to myself.

One night I heard my mommy and daddy fighting next door to my room. I didn't want to cry. I cried enough and was tired of it I felt like I was out of breath and need something to pass these petrifying emotions on to. I lifted the pillow from head and spotted a memory of the boy who stayed for a while.

Caleb, my teddy bear from the sweet boy. I quickly ran to him and swiped him off my small book shelf and hid under the blankets.

I cuddled with Caleb and the frightening panic inside of me dwindled away. Maybe the sweet boy was gone but Caleb would surely be there for me just as the sweet boy, with the loveliest laugh I had ever heard, did. His gift kept my heart rate steady and my darkest emotions caged away from possibly getting loose.