I inhale and shake my head, "It cant be that way just yet. I need to get myself together, figure out what I want and need. Then when all is done, I'll come back but only if you still want me." I whisper, feeling an unwanted lump in my throat. "How could you ever say that? You're the only woman I have ever wanted. You give me shivers and sweaty palms and other things I cant ignore." He says chuckling and I return it with a giggle. Elliot with sweaty palms? He makes me seem like some type of Goddess. "I want to make you happy." He adds, looking straight into my eyes. Damnit this man made me feel so vulnerable. "You do. I just need time." I say sadly. "I respect that. Take all the time you need, I'll be waiting." I was mostly referring to the fact, I needed to get Andre out of my life...for good. We didn't have much time to talk, cause suddenly we hear another faint knock at the door. Elliot lets the person in, but doesn't move from his position in which he's holding my hand. Mr. Gary is staring at me, his lips pressed together, I shake my hand out of Elliot's and look at him back insecurely.

"Ms. Banks, I'm sorry to inform but you have some paramedics here to see you. They said about 5 minutes ago, they received an urgent call about you." Mr. Gary announces. I frown for a moment, completely confused on their purpose. I nod for a moment and suddenly three men and a body buoy emerge into the door. The three men are walking towards me slowly, holding their hand out as if I'm dangerous. "Ms. Banks, we need you to come with us." One of them says and I clench closer to Eli. "What do you want with me?" I ask, completely scared shitless. "Mr. Carter come with me now." Mr. Gary says, looking at me with soft gentle eyes. Elliot hesitates, but I motion him to follow the orders, meanwhile the three men are making there way towards me. "Sweetie, we'll explain everything, just come with us." Another man whispers, like I'm 5 years old. Elliot disappears with Mr. Gary and I'm backing away, confused on what to do.

"Tell me what's going on." I whisper and one of them follows through. "Your boyfriend called us this morning, told us you were self harm, you were anorexic and purging every day." One of them explains. My heart stops for a moment and for some reason I just begin laughing and during my outburst of laughter, they come and attack me. "Let me go!" I scream and they pick me up and put me on the buoy, they strap my arms and legs down and one of them yells into a walkie talkie, "We have her stabilized, but she's acting hostile." You're damn right I was! I begin kicking and screaming. "My boyfriend who?! I haven't self harmed!" I screamed and the begin moving me out the room. Of course with my luck, everyone's staring at me, Ms. Newmort especially, standing next to Elliot, who's trying to push back everyone to get to me. "Him! That's my boyfriend! It's him!" I scream and point, but they choose to ignore me. My throat grew hoarse and finally we reached the ambulance car. One of the men begin talking to the driver, "Her boyfriend said he thinks she's losing her mind. She acts violent around him and doesn't eat anymore." He says. My eyes widen and I scream the truth, but they still don't listen. "It's him, he makes me! I didn't choose!" I screamed. "Who was the man who called?" A female paramedic asks, as she puts something on my wrist and it begins to throb. "Mr. Elliot Carter called us about 10 minutes ago, saying she came to work and lost her mind." Another man informs. What?! He was next to me! It couldn't haven't been Elliot! Unless.....

"Andre did it! It's Andre's fault! He made me throw up. Please you have to listen!" I begged, but they put an oxygen mask to cover my mouth. I turned my head away from it, but it was no use. The female looked down at me like I was a mental case, "When did he say the behavior started?" She asks, trying to talk louder than my screams. "Well he said after a conversation with her mom took a toll on her mind. Then he said last night, her mother called her self phone, but she was too busy cutting her legs to see who was at the phone. He was scared to bother her, since her mind was awry." The man says. Lies! Bullshit and lies! It was no use they wouldn't listen, so I just continued to scream bloody murder. "Well what did her mother say?" The nurse asks and looks at me. "Her mother has cancer and it's at stage 3."

What!!!! My heart exploded in my chest. I kicked down the ventilator, and bounced up and down on the buoy, the three men pressed me down and the car began moving faster. "She's having an outburst." One of them calls out. Voices fill the room, my head is spinning and my ears fill with blood. I cant hear a thing. I cant feel a thing. The vehicle stops and I'm suddenly I'm rushing through the hospital halls, all I see is three faces and lights flickering back and forth. A strange man hovers over me, who I'm guessing is the doctor. "Can you hear me Rayleen?" He asks, and tries to look in my eyes for a response. I nod my head slowly and he asks me another question, "Have you self harmed in the last 10 days?" I shake my head no, and he glances down at me for a moment. "We need her clothes removed into this bag, give her one of the gowns." He explains and suddenly I remember. Two new cuts were embedded on my legs. Please let this doctor let me explain...but it's too late. "Her boyfriend said she had major self esteem issues. She was trying to commit suicide," One of them explains and looks down at the cuts on leg and I cant even say nothing.

I might have well done the cuts since I let Andre do it so easily....I did do these cuts. It was my fault. "They said she felt 'fat' because her mother was overweight." A nurse explains to the doctor. "Was? Status report on her mother." The doctor says, and puts this weird gel on my legs causing them to sting. "It was done with a knife." He states, how could he tell by just looking? "Well that's where the outburst came in. After her boyfriend told Rayleen that her mom had breast cancer. She was at stage 3 and had it for about 6 months. The mother didn't want to tell her just yet, because she wanted Rayleen to be ready. So this morning before Rayleen left for work, the hospital in Long Island called. Her mother passed in her sleep."

My world was destroyed...everything...was broken...ripped apart...my role model...my rock....was dead. "MY MOM IS DEAD??! SHE DIED?! SHE'S GONE?" Words couldn't explain the anguish and turmoil. My mind felt like it was exploding, I felt mentally nauseous. I wanted to crawl into a corner and die, sit on railroad tracks and await the first train to hit me. I wanted to be non existent...like how I always felt. They thought I had already lost my mind....they had seen nothing yet. I threw my Intravension drip bag down to the ground and watched the water spill all over the ground. I threw the pillows off my bed and let out a heart clenching scream. Suddenly 7 people were around me, trying to hold my body down. But it wouldn't help anything. All my life...I was broken...used...abused...mistreated....I chose not to be the victim but something always brought it back around. My body was melted and I felt as though I was melting back into the sheets. Something in my mind turned off...I felt my mind and body shut down. My mother was gone....my everything...my only reason for existing, was gone. My life was gone. All of the air in the world for me was gone....and as for myself...I was gone....so gone.

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A/N never ends for her does it? Next Chapter I may update today, if you're all good.

A short little update, even though I said after Black N Blue.. just because you all enjoyed the last one so much...aren't I good to my slaves?

x

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