Shattered (Ross Lynch/R5 Fanfiction)

Chapter 32 II It Should Have Been Me

(At the top is Maya five years old)

Chapter 32

Five years later

Ross' POV

The sun shines brightly through the window and I pull the duvet over my head, so I won't get blinded. You may think I'm already grown up and an adult, but when it comes to getting up in the morning, I'm still a child. Speaking of child. Maya and I still live in the small apartment, where Rebecca and I used to live together. She's now five years old and the cutest little girl in the whole wide world. Rebecca would have been so proud of her. Because we don't have any room for another bed in the apartment and Maya doesn't fit in the baby bed anymore, she came up with the idea of sleeping with in my bed. There is enough room for the both of us, even though, sometimes she gets a little clingy and then she either grabs an arm or a leg of me or the duvet. Whatever she gets first in her hands. But it's really adorable. Speaking of love. Since the death of Rebecca, I have not had an active love life. I didn't go on any dates, neither did I have a girlfriend. Maya has asked about that a few times, why there isn't a "woman in my life". I tried to explain to her that I don't wanna be in a relationship, which is not even a lie, but I told her that I don't wanna have a girlfriend because I only wanna focus on her. That of course created a smile on her face, but it was not fully the truth. The truth is, that I can't move on from Rebecca. You may think, after five years, you can get under people again and maybe also meet a new girl, but I can't. Rebecca is still always on my mind and I promised myself that I'll never love another woman as much as I love Rebecca. Besides, there is no better girl than Rebecca. She was everything I wanted in a girl. I just don't want another girl in my life right now, besides Maya, Rydel and Mrs. Andrews. I turn away from the window and replace the duvet from my face. My eyes are closed again and I actually wanna go back to sleep, when I suddenly hear shuffling on the other side of the bed. I slowly open my eyes and see that my daughter turned towards me and is grinning at me now. A smile forms on my face.

Ross: How comes you're already awake?

Maya shrugs her shoulders.

Maya: I just woke up.

Ross: You don't say.

I'm about to turn away from her, when he grabs my arm and prevents me from doing it.

Maya: No daddy! Don't turn away!

Ross: But you know it's only-.

I grab my phone and press the home button.

Ross: -8 am. That's so early for me.

Maya: Come on daddy. Don't be so grumpy.

As I lay on my back, Maya climbs onto me and sits on my bare stomach. I slightly start tickling her sides, causing her to squeal and to throw her hands on my bare chest.

Maya: Daddy! Stop!

Ross: Your own fault pumpkin. Just let me sleep.

Maya: Never. Don't be so lazy.

After a while I stop tickling her and she breaths out in relief.

Maya: Hey what's that?

She leans forward and places on of her hands on my chest, so she won't fall over, while with her small finger of her other hand, she pokes in my chest on the left side, where my heart is. I immediately know what she's aiming at.

Ross: It's a tattoo.

Maya: But it doesn't make any sense.

Ross: What do you mean?