Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Like I Don't Love You

*So I have a few friends in a band in my hometown. I was out seeing them the other day and they played one of their older songs and it just hit me that it would fit a story like this perfectly. I've had some requests to do the first break up and was hesitant. Once this song resonated in me, I figured I could make it work. I put the song from YouTube up in the top. It's a live version because well I'm pretty partial to them and I prefer them live. If you wanna listen it's there for you. :)

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore with you."

"Excuse me?" Peta says looking at me with a bewildered look on her face. She was in the middle of getting ready for us to go out for lunch. We were supposed to be going back to LA tonight but I had decided this on my own and I wasn't going with her. I knew I was throwing this at her but the fact of the matter was I didn't care at the moment. I needed out of this and out of it now.

"You heard me. I can't with us anymore. It's over Peta." I answer crossing my arms over my chest.

"Just like that?" She says looking at me with a shake to her voice. Her eyes are filling with tears and I can see her cracking. They close for a second and I see her take a deep breath.

"Yea. I can't do it anymore. We're just holding each other back. We're in different places and I need time for me. I can't have you holding me back anymore."

"I'm holding you back?"

"What the hell? Do you need me to say everything for you twice?"

"I don't know, maybe if you wouldn't have thrown this at me from left field maybe it would be easier to comprehend."

"Well let it sink in. I can take you to the airport but I'm not going back with you. I'm done." And with that I walk away from her. If I see her cry I'll cave and I can't. I'm selfish and I need to work on me. Away from her. Besides she doesn't want what I want anyways. She's made that perfectly clear to me. She doesn't want to settle down and have a family, her career and status are too important right now. For the next three hours I hear her moving about our...my room packing things. She slowly forms a pile at the doorway and I carry the things out to the car slightly bewildered. She finally comes out and looks at me.

"Where's Val?" She asks.

"He has rehearsal with the girl for the Governors Ball." I say

"Oh...I was going to tell him goodbye. I guess I'm ready." She says as she heads out of the house I share with my brother. We both get in the car and finally I ask her something.

"Why did you pack all your stuff?"

"What in the hell are you talking about? You broke up with me? Why would I leave anything here?"

"Oh." That's the only thing that could come out of my mouth. We get to the airport and she refuses to let me help her get her stuff in. She grabs a luggage cart instead and loads it herself.

"Goodbye Maksim. I hope this is what you want." She says as she walks away from me. I see a slight shake to her body but I also know she's not going to cry in front of me. We had a talk about Damien once and she said that was her biggest regret. She didn't want to let him realize he had hurt her so I knew now that it was going to be the same.

"Goodbye." My voice comes out in a whisper as I feel a piece of my heart drop away. I get back in the car and attempt to convince myself this was the right thing to do but I can already feel a piece missing from me. I head back to the apartment and change to go to the gym. That'll help I think. Once I return Val is sitting on the couch watching the Nets.