How to Be a Virgin

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He broke into a full smile and wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I know, but it makes the sex better."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway," I said, intending to change the subject to something more relevant. "Derek's supposed to set me up with a really hot girl. He didn't happen to share that information with you during one of your pillow talks, has he?"

Calvin looked up to the ceiling in deep thought, then flicked his pale grey eyes to mine with the hint of a playful smile twitching onto his lips. "He has."

I jumped up in excitement. "Really? Who?"

"I'm not supposed to say," he said, short, then returned his attention to his lunch.

"Are you kidding me?" I questioned him and when I got no response, I pried further. "Okay, well, at least tell me she doesn't look anything like this guy." I gestured toward Lenny whose jaw had dropped due to my indirect insult. He huffed loudly and stood up from the table, blatantly announcing his impending dramatic exit.

As soon as he was gone, I let out a sigh of relief in which Calvin laughed at. "And you wonder why no one wants to have sex with you. There's this thing called a heart. Most people have it, but it's clear to me that you don't."

I rolled my eyes and snatched his sandwich from him, taking a large bite before returning it. "A heart, I have. Patience, I don't. Now be a good little twink and tell me who Derek set me up with."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"It means..." He ripped the sandwich from my hands and stuffed it back into his brown paper bag. With a sardonic smile slowly creeping into his face, Calvin stood to his full height, "... no." He didn't give me any time to respond because he had already kicked his feet into a brisk walk toward the exit, leaving me with more questions than answers.

God dammit!

This wasn't fair. Everyone around me had already lost their virginity years ago. Even Calvin, the brattiest person in the entire universe, had sex before me! I didn't know what I did to deserve this. Sure, I wasn't the nicest person to ever exist and sure, I had done some things that would put me on Santa's naughty list, but not having sex was one of the worst things a teenage boy could experience.

Thoughts of who was going to have the honors of popping my cherry plagued my mind throughout the entire day. I pretty much zoned out of all my classes because my mind was too preoccupied with the mystery woman. Derek and Calvin had done a good job at keeping her a secret from me since I couldn't get neither of them to spill the beans, which only made me nervous. What if she wasn't attracted to me? What if I was just a pity fuck? What if my inexperience was obvious? What if she's a prostitute?

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't put my thoughts to rest no matter how much I tried. My mind remained a jumbled mess as I shuffled to my last class of the day — Calculus. I took my designated seat near the back of the classroom and buried my head in my hands as students filed into the classroom and meaningless chatter boomed in my ears. All I had to do was get through this class, and then I could go home where my present was waiting for me.

"Hey, Mike, you kicked ass on Friday!"

I lifted my head to meet the gaze of one of my soccer teammates. "Thanks, man." He gave me a nod and slid into his seat which was just a few feet away from mine.

I straightened myself in my seat and heaved a breath, trying to mentally prepare myself for this class. Deciding to get a head start, I rummaged through my backpack to retrieve my math notebook and flipped it open to an empty page. Just as I reached for my pencil, a familiar voice beside me made my body stiffen.