Snapshot [2] ON HIATUS

Chapter 1

Something occurred to me the other day which I had never really thought about before. Both Zoe's and Alfie's viewers have never really seen me on camera. I think the most they've seen of me is my back, and that's not really all that much to go off. They've heard my voice in the background of vlogs and they know my name and age but they've never actually seen what I look like.

There have been a few occasions where I've been out and about with Zoe and Alfie in town and people have stopped them for pictures, but I don't think they really click on that the girl with them is their adoptive daughter, and if they do, they respect my privacy and don't ask for photos, which is nice of them.

It's no big secret now that they adopted me. They announced it once it had been made official and at first, fans went absolutely crazy but things died down after a while. People still talk about me in the comments section and tweet about me on Twitter but I've kind of got used to that now.

However, I don't think I'll ever get used to being the 'daughter' of celebrities. It's far from what I'd call 'normal'. Shopping trips take twice as long because people stop for photos and you can't go to town without someone noticing them. Alfie travels a fair bit and there's some times when he's not home for a while. When Alfie's home, Zoe's off doing photo shoots or book signings. So it's a rare occasion when they're both home together for a long period of time. Sometimes, when they both have things to do, I go with one of them. It usually depends on what they're doing as to who I go with (Zoe, most of the time).

It's fun, don't get me wrong, but it can be exhausting sometimes. Even when your sat at home doing nothing you're reminded of who your living with. Either there's fans ringing the door bell (which is annoying beyond belief) or a stack of letters and products from their PO boxes in the middle of the living room.

Don't get me wrong, there are days when we are as normal as everyone else. We sit and watch films (Elf is on almost constantly lately, with Christmas being like a week away) and lounge about in pyjamas all day. We play with Nala and pull pranks on each other. Days like these are my favourites.

Zoe and Alfie have done their best to protect me from the wild world of stardom. I mean, it's not particularly a bad thing but for someone like me it's not the best idea to put myself out their to millions of people. That's why I don't like myself being in videos. Yeah, I'm scared of what people would say about me but mainly because I'm just enjoying living a normal life. I'd dreamed of it for so long and I want it to last a bit longer if I can help it. I enjoy being able to go into town on my own, although I don't do it often, and be able to walk around and not be noticed by people. I enjoy being able to ride a bus and go for walks without having to pose for pictures. I can make a mistake and not have an article written about it. Some people might enjoy this, but it's not the life for me.

I have contemplated showing the viewers what I looks like. I'm sure they'd all be fine about it but I don't think I'm ready to give up the normality of my life just yet. Plus, I don't think my PTSD and anxiety would be able to handle it.

So, all in all, I'm quite content in the position I'm in right now. I'm hidden away from the limelight and sheltered from the world of YouTube stardom. I'm doing well with school and my tutor says I'm possibly ahead of everyone my age in mainstream school. My passion for photography is growing everyday and I can't wait to see what the future holds for it.

I'm in a good place right now and I'm enjoying life at home with Zalfie. There's times when it's still a little awkward or uncomfortable but those things take time. I've got to know all the other YouTubers and I'm particularly close to Niomi, Marcus, Jim, Tanya and Louise, Zoe's chummy. They often come around for sleepovers and it's so much fun. We order food and watch films or sometimes things get a bit weird and everyone gets a bit delusional but that's all part of the fun I guess.

I can't say that I have a lot of friends my age though. I'm not complaining as I'm very happy with the life I've got. But all of Zoe and Alfie's friends are way older than me and it would be nice to have someone my age to talk to every now and then. However, getting friends of my own would mean going to school and I'm not prepared to go to such lengths. So, for now I'm pretty content with YouTube friends.

There are challenges that come with this though. For example, this month is a busy month for YouTubers, what with it being Vlogmas and all that. Zoe is especially busy, she's whipping up two videos everyday day and it's a bit of an ordeal to get things sorted sometimes.

But more than that, vlogmas means that there are a lot of social events with other YouTubers. Now, I'm not strictly a YouTuber, but being the daughter of two means that I usually get taken along for the ride. Just the other day was the Gleam Christmas party and it was hectic to say the least. I actually had a good time though, and I didn't have a panic attack so that was a bonus.

When you're in a room full to the brim with YouTubers it's a task and a half to stay clear of cameras. At least 80% of them were vlogging, including Zoe and Alfie, and even though everyone was given a quick heads up to not get me in shot, I still had my work cut out. I ended up going up to the hotel room with Zoe a bit earlier than planned, as we were both feeling quite anxious and I felt like a panic attack was on the cards for me. Thankfully, that didn't happen and I actually had quite a peaceful night's sleep (that was until Joe turned up drunk in the middle of the night, which was hilarious to say the least).

The point is, even though I have this brand new life that's quite frankly amazing, it doesn't mean to say that it doesn't come without its fair share of challenges.