It Doesn't Change A Thing.. ( 1D ) Editing

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' Yeah, I know. But he won't talk to me or the rest of the boys. He avoids us and he doesn't even look like he cares . He just - He is cold towards us , in every way possible and that's so not Niall . I - I don't even know how to describe it . When we talk to him he either smirks like he knows something we don't or he fakes a smile so obviously that we can practically hear the '' fuck you '' ! - '

He was ranting . Yay. Just what I needed , a hurt puppy boy ranting about him being hurt by the friend he had hurt . So pathetic . Sorry. Not sorry !

' - And he keeps on acting like he isn't mad at us at all on stage , but our fans notice that he is distressed and that he isn't as bubbly anymore and that he keeps his distance to us wherever we go as a band . They even notice when his smile is fake ! That's just insane . they know him almost better then we do . '

He looked up to me and mumbled ' And this scares the heck outta me '

Not being able to resist the urge to help friends in trouble , I said

' Listen here buddy ' He looked into my eyes with an expectant expression on his face , like he was waiting for me to tell him that Niall didn't hate him . But I couldn't tell him that , because right now I wasn't so sure if the little leprechaun was even sure himself .

' He needs time. I don't know how many times you have heard that in your life and I can't tell you how many times you will hear it again , but every person needs their personal space . Just like you do , Niall does too , only difference is , that he gets hate . Loads of it . And he gets it everyday , you on the other hand not , you can go out with the rest of the boys and have a good time , while he can't , because of the cuts on his arms that his fans can't see . Because he is scared of nasty comments . Or just because he is scared that he will compare himself to one of you guys again and start to think that you have it so much better.So when he gets too much personal space , he is alone with the hate and the criticism that is expressed in a way that focuses on hurting him .

He is in a stadium where he doesn't even see the bad things that happen to you guys anymore . He only sees all the good things that happen to you , then he goes and compares it with his life , with his feelings . He sees you all smile and knows that none of you can relate to the emptiness in his chest, that a thing that he loved to do since he was ...how old creates . You wanna know what this is called ? It's called depressions . '

The expression on the face of the older boy changed drastically . His warm brown eyes clouded over and glazed with tears . Then he clenched his jaw , but his lips trembled , his eyes were firmly closed and the tears rolled down his cheeks , slowly wetting the collar of his button-up shirt .

On instinct, I sat next to him and hugged him to my body . He slid down a little and leaned into my side , I put my chin on his head and rubbed his arms , while biting back my own tears . I told him that it was going to be okay , that I would help Niall . Then I said ' Now you know what Niall missed , don't you ? '

He nodded ' He just wanted us to be there for him , he just needed a hug once in a while , that wasn't meant to say '' haha I love ya man you're so funny '' but '' Hey man , I'm always here '' Since we didn't give him that he pushed his tears back . He always did , he was scared that we would laugh . And when we heard him cry , we didn't do anything , none of us went to see if he was okay .

Even Calum and Ashton told us that we should look more after him ! For fucks sake , Josh was the only one who went to comfort him when he noticed Niall was missing dinner again . I shouldn't even be crying , it's my own fault ! - '

' NO ! ' I barked .

His look snapped up to me and he stared wide eyed into my eyes . ' Don't you dare and say that . Or how do you think Niall started off ? You didn't really think depressions come just like that ? That Bang and suddenly they are there ? Nah, it took three years almost to make him go into that Direction ' I chuckled darkly and added ' You four guys let him go the wrong Direction, all on his own. '

I patted Liam's back and got up from my bed , exhausted from all the talking I had done , I told him to go and tell the other boys what I told him . Once I was alone again , I fell onto my bed and closed my eyes .

I felt the stupid urge to protect the blond guy. I knew he was old enough to take care of himself , but I felt like I couldn't just let him go on like that . It was wrong to live like that ! I knew from experience that it wouldn't end well , for neither of them .

Knock knock

Who the hell ???

' Who's there ? '

' It's Niall '

' Come in '

I sat up on my bed and waited for him to come in . Once he did , he smiled at me and sat on my couch opposite my bed . ' So who were you talking to ? ' ' I was talking to Liam ' His smile slightly faded , but he quickly slipped it back on .

I rolled my eyes and said ' Listen Niall , he just came into my room . I was about to send him away , I really am not in the mood for either of them and I swear if he hadn't been crying , I would have kicked his butt all the way to Asia ! '

He frowned and bit his lip , deep in thoughts , before he looked up and asked , voice slightly strained ' He was crying ? ' I nodded and said ' But he's done now , I talked a little sense into him , explained some things to him ... I think he understands now . '

' No , he doesn't ! ' His voice grew louder . My eyes got wider and I quickly got to my feet when he left my room . I followed him down stairs , to find him shouting for Liam . Once the buff guy entered the room , all hell broke loose .

I watched Niall push Liam back ' Don't Liam just don't you will never understand it ! Capiche ? Never ! It will never be like it used to be okay ? And it is not my fucking fault ! '

He was shouting again and I quickly rushed into the room , just in time to keep Liam from pushing back .

' Stop this fucking shit right now ! ' They didn't listen and glared around me at each other .

Liam's eyes were glowing a light brown and his teeth were slightly exposed . Huh , where did the boy go who cried over his friendship with Niall ? Niall on the other hand was close to tears , you could tell be the way he kept on fingering on his pocket-zippers .

Without a second thought I wrapped my arms around his neck , only to feel him stiffen beneath me . He balled his hands and even tried to push me back , but I hugged him tighter ' No , don't , you need that . I need this right now . Shhh just calm down . ' Finally after a deep sigh , he finally wrapped his arms around me and squeezed .

Fucking shit , he was strong !

I saw Liam shift from one feet to the other , clearly feeling awkward . Zayn and Louis came in , pulling Harry by his ears .

' Ouch Ouch Ouch Ou- Hey ! What's going o- Bloody hell let go you Lil dip shits ! ' The two boys let go of him and he stood straight . Mother of god how tall was this boy ? Niall's grip tightened . It was so time for a distraction .

Quickly letting him go , I pulled him towards the kitchen and took most of the stuff from our fridge and put them in Nialls arms , then I picked some chickflicks in the livingroom , the other boys watching us , while trying to seem a if they were in a conversation .

' Are you seriously making me watch this ? I thought you were cool ! ' He was whining like a little child and I was getting a little annoyed .

' Fine ! You choose ! ' raising my arms in defeat I plopped to the ground and watched Nial look for movies . He picked tree and showed me . I squealed .

Wait a motherfucking minute . I did what ?

You squealed . This is a sound girls make when they are very excited or surprised -

Shut up ! I hissed at the voice in my head .

He looked at me wide eyed but I chose to ignore it while laughing happily ' How did you find the lion king ? I thought mom threw it away ! Oh my fuck it has been too long since I watched this shit ! Oh man......I need to calm my ass ! ' panting from rambling so fast , I realized that I was talking too much .

Now he chuckled too and said softly ' Lion king it is ! ' I grinned brightly back and said ' Okay you go and prepare my room ! I'll make cacao and get us some bear from the yard . '

He agreed and went upstairs .

This was going to be fun !