Fangirling over Zeke

Chapter 3: I just can't

Louise's

"Suppose to say," said Bree to no one. "What do you think?"

   I saw a movement on Bree's eyes looking at me. The distant moment faded as I was preoccupied in what I see. Taller buildings. People. Hallways. Lockers. Classical arrangement of things. Rooms. And more people. I have never been in this kind of school-a rather prestigious school. The air that I breathed was different to any otheras. The air smells of fresh early sunrise with the trees dancing accompanied by the rustle of leaves and chirping of birds. All things felt different now.

   "Okay, I get it," said Bree with a beaten tone. "Do your amazement business." She said with much sarcasm.

   I ignored her. I filtered my eyes with the fantastic treat the school had. I searched every detail, the structure, the color, and the atmosphere. Just being able to stand here, I will be blessed by the whole year. But, soon I realized, people made a crowd circling the newcomers. Indeed.

   I walked past the people to get a clearer view who stood by the hallway. Before I realized who they were, someone had shouted with much glee and excitement all over her tone. "It's Initials!"

   The word rang my whole system up, sending goosebumps all over my body. As I thought, they are here, inside the circle of crowd. It only means he is there, that Zeke is definitely there. I started walking past more people, entering the circle. I had this ineffable feeling that intensified as I set my foot on the hard-marbled floor.

   "Why are you smiling like a creep?" Bree said as she turned to me with an asking yet disgusted look. I trace the outline of my lips realizing I really am smiling. The feeling was describable now. At first, I thought I was scared and that fear will overcome me when I see him that I'll be weak again in falling for someone. But no, this was no fear, anticipation filled over me. I stood over the brightly-lit hallway as I met the eyes of Zeke, unguarded. I cracked a smile, this time, sterner.

   "Hello, Zeke. It's been a long time."

   Those words, I spat them will all the confidence I got. It got through him. I knew he got my message right. People started mumbling things. The hall way was filled with the chatter of people talking about us. Well, I expected such company.

   "Well, isn't it a happy reunion?" I said with a frown. "My, my, people are looking. You don't suppose to make me humiliated by them, do you?" Bree whispered right at me, but I can't clearly understand what she was saying to me but her expression had changed to worriedness.

   "Hi Bree," Raven muttered, interrupting the growing tension, "and Louise."

   I raised my pointing finger up, swaying it from left to right. "You, don't call me that," I suddenly groaned, flashing an eerie stare to Raven. He bolted upright to the malicious stare. "Well, it looks like you've got nothing to say then Zeke. I'm very disappointed and I am humiliated," I played a smile under the shade of my lips. "Oh and please do move on." Zeke took a step backward, which in return, made me smile even more. I finally made an attack. I got my revenge. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't right.

   "So, is that the end of your so called revenge?" Bree asked right after we sat in the farthest row. The whole room was centralized and was filled with a welcoming smell. The babble of people broke out in the midst of our conversation. I can see that the students attending the class we're only around at 30-which I much not I had expected.

   Bree snapped her fingers. I realized that I've been drowned with the amazement business again. I was too exhausted to answer her question. I guess what happened earlier was just too much to handle. As much as I did, I certainly didn't want that to happen but there's this certain drive of me that kept me going and saying to finish the fight.

   I happened to questioned myself, why am I doing a revenge to someone who doesn't deserve it? Am I doing my revenge right? Do I really need to do this? It feels like I'm just hurting myself. I just feel that I'm driving someone away from me and it's making me feel worse.

   Things happen in a flash. I enjoyed every subject as much as I did not expect it. I assumed that subjects like Math and other usual boring stuffs will always be boring. But not. From what I see, the learning system here is beyond standard. Well, it may be an Arts and Literature school but they also provide other courses and they are totally amazing. They don't solely focus on arts and literature, it's just that majoring in arts and literature here is the common thing.

   I don't know where am I walking but I know that I am walking just to take a tour out of this school. It's doing stars in my head. This school has maybe 6 branches and I'm thinking a little tour around all of it will take a year. Fair enough, I saw a restroom in the back alley and I definitely want to do my business nice and cool.

   As soon as you enter, you will see a line of cubicles-because of my urge to do my business-I went into the nearest cubicle out there. The mirror reflected a mirrored-badass woman of accessories and fine clothes. Her lips is oozing with a dark ruby lipstick and even his eyes were blackened with superiority. This girl is on fire. And not to mention, that's me.

   The break will be over soon and I need to hurry back to class. I swift past the lavatory and had my heels go slide on the slippery floor. I know it is my head that is going to fall. I'm done for. Suddenly, a pack of rushing air swoop all over my body, grabbing my back and stopping my heel. I had blinked for seconds but I knew it was him. Zeke is here holding me so tight that I can't get the air right but still I was happy I was saved. I can't afford to lose my head to the floor.

   "Are you okay?" Zeke reassured me back but worriedness took all over his face.

   "I-I," said I. "I." And that ended my sentence. I am stuttering way too much. Why is this happening? All of a sudden, it creeps on my mind. Every little memories of him. His eyes were sorrowful enough to wake me up for this revenge. I thought I was strong enough to forget him and move on. But, no, this is more than just being your fan at first. Well, I know, this love is hanging on threads but who cares that is partly loving a person. I think I've grown to love him, despite all the imperfections we had, this failed heart has long since been beating for him.

   I find my words now, clearly and bold. "I can't do this, Zeke. I hate seeing you every day full of hate. I just want us, isn't it wrong? I just want a normal teenage love, even if not mature, at least we'll grow into this. But I was too selfish, you're a working man and I can't take that from you, it's your dream. But what else I'm going to do if I love you so badly that I tried hating you. But I can't. I just can't." I struggled to pull back any words at least that made me unconditionally healed from the love I had kept for me and to him.

   I hugged him, tighter.

   So much.

   As tears flow surely.

   So much tighter.

   I don't mind.

   This is wrong.

Thank you for reading my story despite all the imperfections and boring stuffs on it. Thank you for the happiness cure you're giving me and this story. I know FOZ is still hanging on threads but you made it all. So I'm very proud to say that I am so happy to see, talk, and chat you my dear readers. Thank you very much!

Also, thank you very much for the undeniably grateful likes from masu18  sta_reader   louise20602 and to others out there! My love will arrive from the star to your heart.

P.S. It is worth finding all of you from the ends of the world