Perfect Redemption

Twenty Six: In Which He Causes All Hell To Break Loose

I choked on my own laugh. "I think you're mocking me."

"I'm not. Because it's true," Belle said. "It's her way of showing her affection. It's her way of showing that you're one of the few people that she truly cares about." She paused, then pressed on. "She loves you, Jax. She really does. Perhaps she just doesn't know it yet."

Belle's words lingered in my mind until this very day.

Blaire... loving me? God, I don't know if it's even true. Maybe Belle was messing with me, toying with my mind, getting my hopes up. But dammit, now that my hopes are indeed up, I can't help thinking if Blaire really does love me—or if there was a possibility of her loving me.

I know that she has strong feelings for me and those feelings grow every single day when we're together, but could they turn into love? I don't know. She's such a hard person to read sometimes. All I want to do is get into her mind and invade her thoughts, but the problem is that she has too thick of a fucking skull.

I don't know if she loves me—or if there was a slight chance that she would. But what I do know is that I love her and I'm too much of a pussy to say it to her face. I figured that I must have been high ever since the first time I admitted it to myself that I love her. I thought that if I slept on it the next day, I wouldn't feel like that anymore. But damn, it never went away. I still love her.

And I don't think I can ever stop.

I'm not going to admit that to her, or at least not yet anyway. Not when I'm certain that she feels the same way. Blaire and I might be at the climax of our relationship right now, but there are still things that are left uncertain between us.

But for now, I shove those ugly thoughts aside. I'm thinking way too much—perhaps one of the side effects of being in a relationship with Blaire—and I need to stop. So instead, I stop pacing around the living room and glance up the stairs. Of course, no sign of Blaire.

"Fuck me, what the hell is taking so long?" I mutter to myself. After a few more minutes of pacing, I collapse on the sofa, sighing.

Today has been a really hectic day for the both of Blaire and I. I had to do two interviews and a photoshoot today and since Blaire is my bodyguard, she had to follow me everywhere. It isn't easy hounding off the paparazzi, especially now when they're not only targeting me, but the both of us. As usual, Blaire doesn't get testy with them. She just shoved them off the both of us and called it a day.

I thought that we could have a quiet night in tonight, but as usual, fate is a bitch. There is this event that my dad has decided that I should go tonight. It's organized by his TV show network, Interface, in celebration of his TV series, Pretty Wicked, as well as several other new shows, that have successfully wrapped up production for their first season. It's not a big thing, but you can bet there's going to be lots of press there.

Baxton and I had discussed this and I told him my reluctance to go to the party. But he thought that it would be great for me to go and bring Blaire with me.

"Wait, as my bodyguard... or as my date?" I asked.

"As your date, of course." Baxton confirmed.

"What the fuck? Are you crazy?" I cried. "You told both Blaire and I to lay low! And now you want us to do the... opposite of that?"

"Exactly," Baxton snapped his fingers. "It's been weeks since those leaked photos of the both of you got out. Everyone had been furious then. But now? The public has become more settled about the both of you. Thanks to your recent interviews about you mentioning that she's your girlfriend, I think everyone has tried to accept the idea that both of you are together. And now, you have to show them that it's not such a bad thing. Go with Blaire and talk to the press. Settle things once and for all. Show them that you don't have no reason to hide anymore, Jackson."