Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 47

"Come on," Zeke said. "I was misled into getting married to him. That's not the basis of a happy relationship. Besides, it's not exactly like we can start a family together or anything. We're not even the same species. Remember how you were pointing out that you and I are the only humans around and how you're a woman and I'm a man. I could be way off base here, but I'm pretty sure you were implying that we should probably have sex."

"I was, at the time. But that was before I met Trey."

"Are we even sure he's a human?" Zeke asked. "Maybe he's some weird alien that happens to look kind of human, but is actually completely incompatible with us. Hell, maybe he's even freakishly ugly for his race and was sent off into space for being an outcast."

"Actually he's from California," Sadie said. "He met an alien woman who was visiting Earth and they fell in love. She took him away in her spaceship and they had a passionate romance until she died tragically from choking on a sandwich. She passed away in his arms. It's so sad. I feel so bad for him. I just want to give him a big hug."

"You've got to be kidding me. Did the joke robot tell you that one?"

"No, Trey told me. He's really in touch with his feelings. He doesn't like to talk about it because it brings up such painful memories, but he really opened up to me and shared his emotions. We cried together. It was so beautiful."

"This is making me sick to my stomach," Zeke said. "Seriously, stop. I think I'm going to puke."

"I'm sorry if you feel threatened by him, but really that's on you. Not him."

"I just hate to see you get taken in by this joker," Zeke said. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm a big girl," Sadie said. "I can take care of myself."

"Fine," Zeke said. "But don't come running to me looking for a shoulder to cry on when he shows his true colors." He looked over at Milosh, Bumble-Boo, and WBDG still sleeping and suddenly remembered the scarcity of humans and females in his present situation. "Okay, if you really need a shoulder to cry on, I guess you can use mine, but I won't be happy about it. Well, that's not entirely true because I'll be happy that you've seen through Trey's bullshit. Also it would be kind of nice to have you snuggled up against my shoulder. You want to cry on my shoulder right now?"

"Zeke. Stop talking."

"Sorry," he mumbled, while looking down awkwardly at his shoes.

"Besides, if you really were interested in me how come you never busted a move on me?" she asked.

"I tried to!" Zeke threw his arms up in the air. "I kept getting interrupted all the time! Are you saying I should bust a move now? Because I will!"

He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see Nulfar come stumbling into the room groggily. "That was quite a nap. Where are we anyway?"

"See? I'm constantly getting interrupted! Anyway, to answer your question, our escape bed got picked up by some space pirates and now they're trying to chase after the guys who blew up your ship," Zeke said.

"This tiny vessel expects to defeat the advance army of Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds? Are these people suicidal?"

"Apparently they've got some tactical genius on their side who's good at everything and has never been defeated at anything in his life. Especially ping-pong."