Scarred

Chapter 18: Paths Meet

Ah well, that will be a puzzle for another day. There are more urgent answers for me to chase, and quite a bit more work for me to do.

*********************

Michael wrapped his arms around Lucienne, holding her gaze and falling into her beautiful gray eyes. Oddly enough it gave his whirling thoughts a moment of much needed peace since the revelations of the day had upheaved his entire world.

He didn't know what to think about the idea that he would be capable of children. The thought raised so many questions, and so much uncertainty about what it would mean for him, Lucienne, the potential children and his people, he found himself not even certain where to begin.

"So about those memories," Lucienne began, jolting Michael out of spiraling thoughts. "Does this mean whenever I remember them I'll remember them as if I had lived them?" she asked.

"I am not entirely certain," he replied, relieved her question gave his mind something to focus on. "Ordinarily the memories exchanged during a Ruach bonding are not directly experienced by the receiver, but rather deposited and available as an information source. I have heard it likened to a library inserted into one's head."

"I hear a 'but' somewhere in there," Lucienne half questioned, half stated.

Michael flashed her a small smile. "Yes," he replied. "First, there is little that is typical about our bonding, so while other bondings may provide a framework of information from which to draw, I believe that to expect our path to mirror that of other pairs would be in error.

"Second," he paused for a moment considering his words. "My instincts say that once discovered, we will relive the memories as if they were our own."

Lucienne sucked in a breath, "I take it your instincts are usually pretty accurate?" she asked in a tight voice.

Michael nodded, not blaming her for her concern. It was a daunting thought to take on another's memories as one's own. Especially ones as dark as mine, he thought to himself, and then hissed with realization.

"What?" she asked, noting the troubled look on his face.

"If you relive my memories, you will relive not only the things I have done to others, but also what Diana did to me."

She paled, but then she seemed to gather herself and a look of determination came over her face. She cupped his cheek, looking steadily into his eyes. "It's worth it," she said. "It's worth facing it all, Michael. You're worth it."

A confused mass of emotion welled up, overwhelming him and pulling in multiple directions. Hope and his love for her were strong, but then fear for her safety welled up, followed by denial that bonding to him was worth anyone reliving the way he received his scars, followed by fear of her rejection when she relived some of the things he'd done.

True, she speaks of understanding and acceptance of what my position entails, and to date, has been most astute and accepting. However, conditions may change once she has directly experienced my actions. I had planned to prepare her for the knowledge she would receive. Now that there is the distinct possibility she will actually live them... How could she not revile me, even with preparation.

I am unable to even spare her the pain of my own torture, and I would give anything for her to not be forced to relive that unpleasantness. There is so little time left before the inevitable. I know the way of such things, if we do not unlock the memories soon, they will find a way out on their own and likely under less desirable circumstances.

Michael held her tight to him and buried his face in her neck, the fear of losing her crashing down on him in full force. Lucienne wrapped her arms around him, softly running her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp as she had earlier. He sighed and gave himself over to her ministrations, resolving to enjoy every last moment with her so he would have something to hold if she should choose to leave him.

*********************

"So, Kitty Cat," Maria teased and smiled when Jason rolled his eyes at her from his seat on Lucienne's plush chair. "What you're basically telling me is that you're not only this super rare animal, but you're also the only shifter ever, whose animal decided that none of the regular shifter Alphas were good enough, and that only a vampire would do?"

Jason nodded and she burst out laughing. "That's hilarious! Can I just say I love..."

"Don't say it!" Jason tried to cut her off in vain.

"...your pussy!" she laughed even harder at his wince.

"Seriously the joke is getting old," he told her with a growl underlying his tone.

"Like you're not going to pummel me with pussy jokes when I finally let you turn me?"

Jason tried to look serious but the corner of lip twitched giving him away. "Aha! See, I know that look!" she verbally pounced on him. "I have to get a few licks in now, before you can turn it around on me!"

Jason's gaze heated. "Oh you can have as many licks as you want," he said, his growl becoming more sultry.

"Hmm... Really?" she asked and bit her lip, rising from her seat on the couch to approach him.

"As long as I can have as many licks as I want," he replied, his voice deepening and his eyes taking on a predatory gaze.

Maria leaned down, brushing her lips against his before giving a lick along his jawline. His fingers tightened against the armrests and she moved her way down his neck, while sliding her hand over his chest towards his jeans.

"Michael's gonna be pissed if you guys keep going," a voice interrupted, making Jason leap to his feet in a defensive stance, while pushing Maria behind him. Jason's growl filled the room and Maria knew he was a hair's breath away from shifting, though she hoped it wouldn't come to that. Lucienne would not be happy to have her furniture destroyed by a bear sized cat and whoever he was fighting.

She peeked around Jason's back to see a rogueish looking blond man leaning by the open window. He was grinning madly at Jason, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Elijah," Jason nodded in respect while taking a deep breath and relaxing. "Thank you," he finally said, then turned to Maria to explain. "Getting physical in home of my Alpha's mate is a very bad idea. The moment Michael set foot in here, he would know, and then there'd be hell to pay."

"Oh!" Maria exclaimed, a slight blush appearing through her olive skin tone. "I'm so sorry, it was really all my fault. And really it's not usually like me to do that either, and I'm really happy you stopped us too, thank you so much!"

Elijah laughed, "That's a lot of 'really's'in a row," he teased with a wink. "It's the mating bond. I've seen it before, the new pair suddenly find themselves doing all sorts of things they wouldn't ordinarily. Honestly, at any other time I might have been tempted to just sit back and enjoy the show, but unfortunately we've got too much going on for extra drama," he explained, his voice becoming more serious.

"Jason, We need to pick up some of Alpha Smythson's people at the airport to bring back to Michael's place and wanted you along. If Maria stays in the car, she can come along too, or we can send her directly to Michael's if you want. Lucienne's there and I think it would be good for her to finally meet your Alpha, don't you?" Elijah finished with a teasing smile.

"That's completely up to her," Jason replied, looking at Maria with an eyebrow raised in question.

Maria felt caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place, but figured Lucienne would have her back, and the idea of sitting in the car while they drove all the way out to the airport and back wasn't really appealing. "I think I'll go meet the mysterious Michael," she replied firmly. "Besides, Luce and I obviously have a lot to catch up on, and girl talk doesn't involve men folk," she said with a smile at Jason.

Elijah barked a laugh. "I like her! Your beast made a good choice with this one," Elijah said, flashing her another smile. "I've got an extra car downstairs to take you to Michael's, so shall we get this show on the road?"