Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 21

"Excuse me," Sarah said. "Where do you think you're going with that?"

The ant looked back over its shoulder at her. "I believe I just mentioned that I was taking it back to my anthill. You're not a very good listener, are you?"

"I heard you just fine," Sarah said as she placed her hands on her hips. "Perhaps you failed to realize that I was holding that door."

"Yes you were," the ant said. "It was very kind of you to make it so easy to find. Thank you."

"You don't seem to be understanding me," Sarah said. "That's my door."

The ant turned it over a few times and looked at it. "I don't see your name on it."

"That's beside the point," Sarah said. "I was holding it."

"We already established that," the ant said. "Now I'm holding it. What's your point?"

"Haven't you ever heard about possession being nine-tenths of the law?"

"I haven't," the ant said. "But since I possess it, it would appear that I have legal ownership of this here door. Yes, and a mighty fine door it is indeed."

"Am I going to have to punch an ant?" Sarah said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not quite sure why you'd want to do that," the ant said. "But I'd certainly enjoy seeing you try. We ants are quite strong for our size. I believe I could break you in half, which I will in fact do if you attempt to lay a hand on me. Now if you'll excuse me I need to be getting back to the anthill with my door."

Sarah blinked a few times. "Pardon me for one moment." She walked over and tapped her uncle on the shoulder. "May I borrow your laser for a second?" Dr. Octavius handed it to her with a shrug of his shoulders.

She turned back to the ant and pointed the laser at it. "Now where were we? Oh yes, you were about to give me back my door."

"You're starting to irritate me, lady," the ant said. "This door's coming with me and if I hear another sound coming out of your big annoying mouth I'm going to have to stop being polite."

"How's this for polite?" Sarah said as she shot the laser at the ant's feet.

"Ow! Jesus Christ, lady! That hurt!"

"Now are you going to give me my door back or do I have to do that to your face?"

"All right, all right," the ant said. "You want the door? Go get it." It turned around and hurled the door off into the distance before scurrying away.

Sarah fired the laser after the fleeing insect and managed to nick it in one of its antennae.  She grunted in frustration and handed the laser back to her uncle. "You finish freeing the frog. I have to go chase after that stupid door again."

Dr. Octavius accepted the laser with another shrug of his shoulders and resumed burning a hole in the kid's shoe.

*

"Think, Max, think. I've got to figure out a way out of here before I turn into Toad Flambé." The flames were starting to spread around him with alarming speed. Something that looked like an old candy bar wrapper lit up and turned to cinder right next to him. It was beginning to get downright sweltering.

"Looks like the only way to go is down," Max said as he wriggled his way further down into the kid's pocket. He shimmied his way past a giant ball of lint seconds before it burst into flame and then landed at the bottom of the pocket. There was a loud squishing sound under his feet, but he didn't have time to worry about that.

He spotted a tiny hole in the stitching at the bottom of the pocket. It was a little too small for him to squeeze through in its current state, but the material looked pretty flimsy. Max yanked on it and managed to tear a large enough hole to drop down. He made his escape just a fraction of a second before the kid finally noticed the fire that had erupted in his pants and began slapping vigorously at the pocket.

A few seconds after that Dr. Octavius succeeded in burning his way through the boy's shoe and began setting his foot on fire. This caused the boy to hop up and down and stomp his foot. The resulting vibrations forced Max to tumble down the boy's pant leg and out the bottom. He dropped the final few inches to the ground and landed on his back with a thud. Luckily his fall was softened by the blanket that Sarah and Dr. Octavius had thoughtfully spread on the ground.

He barely had time to register that he had somehow managed to miraculously avoid any sort of major injury when someone swept up the blanket to wrap around the boy who was now on fire in several locations. Max found himself unceremoniously flung through the air. He bounced off a hippopotamus's butt and crashed to the ground again in decidedly much less soft of a landing. Still nothing appeared to be broken so he picked himself up slowly and dusted himself. "I'm really going to be needing a drink after all this."

"Hurry!" Dr. Octavius shouted as he grabbed Max by the wrist. "The door got away from us again. It went that away! We must catch up to it."

"Well, then I guess we must dash," Max said. "Must dash." He pointed at Dr. Octavius's face. "Moustache." He began giggling uncontrollably. "It's funny because you have a moustache."

Dr. Octavius blinked. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Truth be told, Doc, I might have inhaled a bit of smoke in there." He shook his head back and forth several times. "I'll be okay. Now let's go get that door!"