Still Down

Understand-7:20

Trinity

"I have to be some where soon. So can we make this quick."

"What you in a rush to do." David said siting on the porch next to me.

"That's my business not yours."

I had finally found the time and energy to bring David's belongings to his mom's house and of course they wanted to talk about everything that happened.

After kicking him out and meeting August I've been able to focus more on finding out who I am but I would be lying if I said that he hasn't crossed my mind multiple times.

"Oh you two stop. Now I wanted to have this talk because you guys are obviously having problems within your relationship. Personally I have a huge problem with you Trinity. Kicking David out the house with no where to go. You've been changing a lot lately. I just don't understand why your taking the problems you have on us. When we've only helped you."

"No, the problem is that your son is a disrespectful selfish ass boy and I'm tired."

"I was the one giving you love and support when you needed it and now yo ass acting like that shit didn't mean nothing to you. All you did was use me!"

"I appreciate the help. I don't know how many times I said thank you to you and your family. Even though you helped me tremendously that doesn't mean I have to put up with the continuous disrespect, getting called out my name, you texting other girls. I don't need this extra stress."

"So you don't love me no more?"

"No, I love you but just because I love you doesn't mean I want to be with you. At least for right now. Your forgetting to remember all the things you put me through. All the pain you caused me.You didn't just do for me I did for you too."

No matter how hard I tried not to but tears started to fall slowly down my cheek.

I don't want to be lonely but I rather be that than be disrespected by people that are in my life but don't have to be.

I'm tired of always being the one to blame. Still I couldn't hide the fact that I loved David. For he was the only one that I could go to for a long time.

I keep having these conflicting feelings that I cant hide. I want out but simply cant leave. I want to go on to a new chapter in my life but im scared that I wont be able to find someone else that loves me and respects me at the same time.

"What did he make you do?" His mother said putting her hand on her hip.

"Trinity I thought we were passed that. Babe I said sorry."

"No I'm not passed anything. I'm just saying your not the victim here."

"Did what to you? Some one answer me dammit!"

Feeling completely overwhelmed and tired of talking I got up off the porch standing to the side.

"Look you wanted your stuff and I brought it to you. You guys try to have a good day."

Walking quickly back to my place. I had a interview for a second job in an hour and could not be late.

I scrambled through clothes in my closet struggling with finding some thing to wear. Frustrated I settled with a long black dress with a white jacket and white flats.

Deciding to not put on any makeup to save time I grabbed an apple of the kitchen counter and hurried out the house.

Half way there my phone began ringing and an unknown number popped up. Rolling my eyes sure that it was David I angrily answered.