Just A Girl (The Rock Star Series 1) (Green Day)

Goodbye

The next day Riley was allowed to go home. Adam had collected her from the hospital and when she'd stepped inside the house, she'd been overcome with emotion. He had decorated the lounge with balloons and banners and there were flowers and gifts everywhere.

The crib in the nursery was all set up with the pale blue cotton sheets and the pure white comforter. He'd finished hanging the framed prints which only weeks before she and Jared had picked out but hadn't gotten round to hanging. He'd assembled the wind-up carousel mobile above the crib and fitted the night-light. Everything looked wonderful. It was all so beautiful and perfect and because he'd known that she hadn't been able to finish it herself - he had.

Standing in the doorway, cradling her son in her arms, she reached for his hand. 'I love you so much, Adam,' she'd whispered. 'Thank you.'

In that moment, holding her son in her arms, the light slowly beginning to filter back into her eyes, Adam hoped that she was realising that maybe...just maybe...there was light at the end of the tunnel after all.

******

One week later Riley buried Jared. It rained all morning. The sky hung too low, a sagging gray canopy of clouds. It was humid and sticky and storm-clouds gathered quickly. Angry black balls of cotton. It was hard to believe that it was mid-July.

Holding her newborn son in her arms, who she had named Jaden; Riley stood with Adam beneath the huge umbrella above them. The priest droned on and after a few moments Riley couldn't even hear him anymore. She stared at the wooden casket and a tear slipped down her cheek. It was lost in the rain.

There were so many people there. Jamie, Ryan and Clem. Jared's family, friends, relatives, members of the music industry, Jared's ex-band members from 30 Seconds To Mars and the bands record producer. Even the chairman of RCA had flown in especially for the funeral. Riley had been touched, even though at the same time she had despised the man when he had introduced himself to her, relaying his deepest sympathies. After all, if it wasn't for this man, Jared would never have been in New York, he would never have been killed and she wouldn't be standing here in the rain, cradling her son in her arms and burying the man that she'd been going to marry.

Stop.

Outside of the cemetery stood hundreds upon hundreds of fans, each mourning the loss of what they considered to be one of the greatest musicians. They held gifts and flowers, none of them caring about the rain. And of course, there was the media. There was always the media.

The priest raised his hand and made the sign of the cross over Jared's casket. Riley stared at the rain streaming down the wood and tried not to imagine Jared looking back up at her.

Beside her she felt Adam shift, unaware he was studying her. He remembered when he had first met her, a seemingly innocent fourteen year old hellbent on showing the world what she was capable of. And she had. Losing the three people that mattered most had made her even more determined, as if she felt the need to prove something. But Adam knew she didn't have to prove a thing. Riley had lost her mother, her father, her brother...and now Jared. That wasn't how it was supposed to be.

But then...when was it ever supposed to be how it was?

Riley glanced at him and their eyes met. Though neither smiled or anything, both felt the understanding, the deep closeness between them. He understood how she was feeling, what was going through her mind.

It's all just wrong.

As they lowered the casket into the ground, Riley almost collapsed. Adam was beside her, giving her the support and strength she desperately needed. His arm around her waist was comforting, reassuring. She held onto Jaden, fast asleep and totally oblivious to what was happening, and buried her lips in his soft baby hair as the tears fell.

She had to be strong. She had a child to look after, a child that needed her, depended on her. She had to be strong.

The priest had completed the service. While Adam went over to thank him, Riley stood alone at the graveside. Everyone was leaving, people, faces, came up to her, whispered their heartfelt sympathies, touched her on the arm, but she didn't see any of them. All she saw was the grave, the casket...

Jared.

Gone.

She sensed someone behind her, but she didn't turn, just continued to stare down into the open grave. In her arms Jaden began to stir, she pulled the shawl tighter around his body and his little eyes opened as he looked right at her. And through her tears she smiled.

My son. My baby.

She felt the gentle hand on her shoulder and found herself looking into the gentle blue eyes of Mike Dirnt.

'Mike,' she said.

'Hey,' he said softly.

She smiled a little and saw he wasn't alone. Tre was with him and as he gave her a warm, sympathetic smile she was touched that they had come.

'How you doing?' Mike asked, knowing it sounded ridiculous and lame, but asking anyway.

'I'm getting there. This little guy's keeping me going,' she replied.

'I'll bet,' Tre said, looking at the baby who was now awake and lying happily in his mother's arms. Whoa. What the...? He looked quickly back to Mike but he was too busy talking to Riley.

'We just wanted to pay our respects. Jared was highly thought of in the industry,' Mike said, feeling the need to explain why he and Tre were there. But he didn't need to. Riley was touched that they'd both come and told them so.

'He was one of the good guys,' he nodded. 'And, uh...Billie...he wanted to come too. But he wasn't sure if he should. Y'know, given the history between you guys and...well, he didn't want you feeling uncomfortable about him being here. Not today.'

She dropped her eyes and nodded. 'Yeah,' she quietly said. 'He sent flowers...they were beautiful. I never got round to thanking him.' She looked back at Mike. 'Would you - '

'Consider it done,' he told her. Adam was on his way back over after speaking with the priest. 'Well, I guess we should let you go. It's kinda wet out for the baby.'

'Yeah,' Riley said looking down at her son and smiling. 'He'll be hungry soon.'

Mike placed a hand on her shoulder. 'You take care, Riley. Both of you,' he said gently.

'We will. Thanks, Mike.'

'Hey, guys. Thanks for coming,' Adam said coming up behind Riley. He shook hands with both Mike and Tre. 'You ready to go?' he asked Riley, who nodded her head. She said goodbye to Mike and Tre and allowed Adam to guide her back to the car.

For a moment Mike and Tre watched them go, waited until the car pulled away and was out of sight. Then Tre shook his head. 'Okay,' he began slowly, 'tell me you saw it too, that all the booze and drugs I did when I was young and crazy haven't messed with my head that much.'

'Saw what?' frowned Mike.

Tre looked at him. 'The kid? C'mon, man. You didn't see it?' He sounded incredulous. 'It was like looking right at - '

'Yeah, I saw,' Mike interrupted wearily.

'If it is then, hell, Billie sure kept quiet about it.'

'Maybe he doesn't know.'

'You think? Why would she not tell him?'

'I don't know, man...we don't know her reasons.'

'Jesus...well, I know this, that kid is not Jared Leto's.' Tre shook his head. 'He's got Billie written all over him.'

Mike just sighed and turned to leave. 'Let's get outta here. And, Tre,' he added, his tone serious, 'for now, let's just keep this between ourselves.'

COPYRIGHT. Demi Mack