the roommate ➸ [horan au]

twenty one

He was crying too. His beautiful, blue eyes glistened with tears and he was speechless.

"Abby, I don't know what—I don't know what to say." He finally spoke up.

"You love me but you have a girlfriend." I repeated.

He nodded sadly.

"Do you love her?" I couldn't help but ask.

"What?"

"Do you love her?" I repeated the question. I just wanted to know the truth; I needed to know if I was the only one.

"I—"

"Oh my God," I cried harder. "You do love her. You love me and you love her and this is all a mess."

"Please, hear me out—"

"I need to get out of here." I pushed myself off the bed and headed straight for the door. Niall, however, didn't want to let go of it and he followed close behind me. I cursed myself for not being fast enough, and he was able to catch up to me.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. "What are you doing?" He asked with a pained expression on his face. I have never seen him so upset about anything. Either that or my judgement was clouded.

I pulled away from his grip. "I need to leave." I breathed out, close to tears. "I just—I really can't stay here, please understand." I begged him.

Niall looked down with me; he looked like he just had his heart ripped out of his chest.

I couldn't say I didn't feel the same.

"Abby—"

"Niall, please." I cut him off with a pleading look.

He slumped his shoulders; he gave up. He nodded in defeat, "Please, just promise me one thing," He grabbed my hands and I let him hold them this time because this may be the only time I'd be able to feel this kind of warmth from him. "Come back to me, please."

I shook my head quickly.

"Please." He begged.

"I can't keep a promise I might break." I whispered, avoiding his gaze. I couldn't look into his eyes. I couldn't. I knew that if I took one glance at his deep blue eyes, I would be putty in his hands. This was something I needed to think through all on my own, and I couldn't do that with him present. I just needed to get out. "I'm sorry."

He nodded, squeezing my hands. I looked up at him when he wouldn't let go. "Niall," I squeezed back. "Please let go."

He did.

I felt cold all of a sudden. I wanted to grab his hands and hold him close to me. I wanted to hug him and I wanted everything to be okay again.

But the fact was, that everything's changed. Nothing was ever going to be the same. All of my worst nightmares and all of my sweetest dreams came true; they were all crashing down on me at once and I felt dizzy. I was asleep and I just wanted to wake up. That's what this all was. It was all just a sick, twisted dream and I wanted to wake up.

"I'll be waiting for you to come back—no matter how long it takes." He stated all of a sudden, and it broke my heart all over again.

"Niall—"

"No, just—" He raised his hands as if he wanted to place then on my shoulders, but then he decided against it and let them fall by his sides. "I do love you," My heart skipped a beat. This was the first time he'd said it out loud. "I really do, and I just don't want to lose you."

I didn't say anything.

The old me would have fell into his arms, cried when he confessed his love for me. But this newly developed me, she stood her ground, silent, her mind messed up, and she didn't know how to react.

I nodded.

He gave me a pleading look; I knew he wanted me to stay. He didn't want me to leave at all, he didn't want everything to be so complicated. We were on the same page, but we both had to deal with our demons before we could do anything about us.

I went back to my room and packed a bag.

I avoided his eyes as he watched me leave. I pretended not to notice him drop his head into his hands as I closed the front door behind me.

--

An hour-long car ride later, I had finally arrived to my destination.

I missed my parents; they were always there for me, and they supported my every decision. Sometimes I felt like I under appreciated them for everything they've done for me. I wished I was a better daughter.

I took a deep breath before I rang the doorbell.

Two minutes later, the door opened. My mother stood there with a confused expression on her face. Her confusion soon turned to surprise. "Abigail?"

I nodded as I fell into her arms, and I couldn't control my sobs anymore.

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here's a pun to lighten the mood: i wrote a song about a tortilla, but it was more of a wrap

((please laugh at my joke)) ((i'm a funny person love me))

ALSO: i started writing a story on my account madeintheamsongs (where i'm writing stories based on MITAM songs), it's called 'hey angel' and it would mean the WORLD to me if you would check it out and watch the trailer for it. i have so many ideas for it and i'm REALLY excited :))