blindsided

•chapter fourteen•

it's december seventh, two days before the final fight that ronan was supposed to be in. i've only asked him one other time about it besides when i asked him the day we shared our first kiss. all he told me is that it was taken care of. though the past few times we've been hanging out, he's gotten a text message and had to leave early. and in quite a hurry might i add. my mind always seems to wonder to the fact that maybe he is cheating, but i can't bear to go there.

it's tuesday afternoon and i've finished all of my classes and now going to meet bonnie for a coffee date. since lacy and maleana are away on vacation, i've been hanging out with bon a lot. i enjoy her company, she's smart and very interesting. also, she's got great taste in music and books.

i pull open the door to maples and i'm greeted by a little jingle of a bell. i wave at the owner, a kind old woman by the name of maple, in the back of the bakery. i make my way over to an empty table and wait for bonnie to come. i tap my fingers on the wooden table as i contemplate what to order.

the bell on the door sounds and the click of boots on the oak floor approach me. i look up and am greeted by bonnie's big, brown eyes. i smile up at her and stand to hug her petite figure. i'm not that much taller than her seeing that i'm only 5'2. we create small talk and walk over to the counter to order our seasonal beverages.

"hi how can i help you?" a tall woman wearing an apron beams down at us. i order my usual caramel iced coffee with cream and sugar and bonnie orders a caramel brûlée and a fudge brownie. she offers me some but i politely turn it down. we sit back down at our table and she pulls out her laptop.

"you look cute today!" she compliments and i look down at my white blouse and light pink skirt and black tights. my black handbag at my side.

"whatcha up to?" i ask her as i sip my coffee after a moment of silence.

"i'm trying to... find somethinggggg..." she gets out in the midst of her concentration, her eyes glued to her macbook screen. she cheers once she finds what she's been looking for, "here!"

she slides the laptop across the circular, rough table, directing the screen to me.

"RAINING WORLD CHAMPION FORFEITS" the top of the YouTube video reads. i shoot her a confused look and she leans on her elbows.

"look. that whole thing about ronan giving up fighting for you? it's sweet, it really is. but i just don't believe it. and i'm sorry i'm saying that but ronan's whole life has been devoted to getting to this spot at finals. he's not going to give that up for anything. watch this video. it's him explaining what winning would mean to him and maybe then you'll get where i'm coming from. "

what is she trying to say? that ronan lied to me? no, he knows how much i hate it that he fights. i hate knowing that at any given moment i could loose him to something as simple as a punch. this feeling, the feeling of compassion, no stronger than compassion-what ever it was- was growing stronger. it has grown roots and wrapped around my heart and it only keeps growing, taking over my feelings and thoughts about ronan. and everything he said to me at the restaurant, that sincere passion his words possessed, that couldn't have been a lie. yet i still listened to my friend and what she had to say.

i pressed play on the video and it shows different clips of the referee holding up ronan's hand, signifying his victory. step by step he makes his way up to the top, quickly gaining top spot. i don't know why she's showing me this, shouldn't she just be happy for me?

"just watch. " bonnie insisted, obviously seeing my expression.

"steele, tell us what you're feeling about going into this next fight. tell us just what thoughts are going on in your head," the reporter asks him. ronan looks young, around fifteen, still with those glowing green eyes. his facial expression is giddy and excited, a grin plastered onto his face. i can't help but smile at the little ronan looking like he was on top of the world.

"oh you know i'm nervous of course, but more confident than nervous. it might be my first fight but there's no way i'm going down this early. i'm going all the way. " his voice is higher than it it now, but still deep and gives me butterflies.

"wait, it took him three years to get to the finals?" i question, looking up at bonnie who nods. i nod slowly and direct my attention back to the screen.

"tell us, what does winning the finals, or even getting to the finals, mean to you?"

"winning means everything." he begins, the smile wiped off of his face and replaced with a stony expression. "i would do anything for this title. it means the world to me and no one is going to get in my way. " his voice is cold and stony.

the video then cuts to a clip of a very violent clip of ronan getting beat pretty bad. the man -who looks about forty with muscles the size of the hulk's- has ronan in a choke hold. blood is dripping from the corners of ronan's eyes and his face is turning purple. i put my hand over my mouth as i watch the horrific video. the man moves a bit to tighten his grip and ronan takes this opportunity to remove himself from the man's grip and grabs his head, smashing it against the floor. i can tell that his adrenaline takes over as he repeatedly smashes the mans face against the floor. the ref blows the whistle, signifying ronan had one. he jumps off the man but the man on the floor doesn't get up.

"wait what's..." i trail off, furrowing my eyebrows as i look deeper into the screen.

ronan's arm is lifted up by the ref claiming him as the winner. after the man doesn't get up, ronan's trainer whispers something in ronan's ear and they walk off, ronan's eyes filled with tears.

"wait, what just-"

"he killed him. "

my heart stops at those three words.
i furrow my eyebrows and blink away tears that were forming in my eyes. i'm pretty sure that killing a man would've come up along the way.

"he's not going to give up fighting now. not when he's killed a man over it. if he just gives up that means that that man is dead for nothing. "

"did he go to jail?" i choke out.

"ronan? no. the fighting arenas are illegal so if word got out, everyone was busted. they set it up to look like he had a heart attack. "

so many thoughts and questions are swarming through my brain. what if she's right? what if ronan is lying to me? no, he wouldn't.

"don't believe me?" she questions. "ask him. " and with that, she grabs her laptop and coffee before walking out of the cafe.

what just happened?

••••

i sit on my white chair, legs folded as i read through a new book i picked up on my way home. the jingle of the doorbell sounds and i place a book mark down, marking my page. i grab my phone that was tucked into the chair and check the time. 10:46. who would be here at almost eleven at night?

i bound down the stairs with winnie at my feet. i turn on the porch light and unlock the door. standing there is ronan in all black looking as handsome as ever. my chest clenches at the memory of the video i'd seen earlier.

"ronan? what are you doing here?" i flinch at my harsh sounding tone, not wanting it to be. his green eyes spark when they meet mine.

"i had to see you, i've been wanting to tell you something and i just didn't know how you would react. but you know what? screw it. " he lets himself in and i stand against the wall, eyebrows furrowed. "i love you okay? and i know it's fast and we just met but i love you okay?"

love. that's the word i was looking for earlier. my heart swells and tears brim my eyes. love. was i in love? in the back of my mind a voice lets me know the answer.

"i love you too. " i whisper and ronan attaches his lips to mine. we pull away after a few moments and he leans his forehead onto mine, our eyes locked.

"i love you. " he says in between kisses he peppers all over my face making me giggle.

"i love you too. " i repeat, loving the way those three words fell from my lips. and in that moment i knew ronan wasn't lying to me. he truly loved me and i truly loved him. he would never do that. right?

••••

ahhhhhhh i'm going to write the next few chapters in two days and then the book is over! *sniffles*. thanks for reading! vote, comment, etc!