long distance

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"you know that ridiculous old song, long distance?" i wonder, sniffling up my mucus.

"yeah, by the naked brothers band." he shares, actually remembering the stupid band.

"i heard it on the radio the other day and cried." i admit, wiping my puffy eyes.

"why?" he questions, seeming perfectly normal. which is the opposite of what i am right now.

"there's a part that says, long distance relationship will kill you. and even though he was like twelve, i have never related to a song so good." i explain.

he stays quiet, which makes me want to continue. so i do, "i feel like i've been kicked and bruised ever since you left and this may not be a relationship but it is long distance."

"i-" he signs, not knowing how to reply. what can he say though?

"that's all i wanted to say." i whisper before hanging up.

i stare at the fresh marks on my wrist. i can't help but think that he'll be disappointed in me.

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