WANTED: Love of my Life

20. The canceled nose-amputation

If Giacomo hadn't reminded me of the time, I probably would have wandered through the streets with him until sunrise. As it was, we got back to the shelter just in time for me to join the rest of the volunteers. Don't ask me how Giacomo knew how late it was. As far as I could see, he didn't wear a watch. How could he have afforded one, anyway?

When we reached the alley where we had originally entered the maze of little streets, I wanted to stretch up on my toes to kiss him. I had been with him the whole afternoon and not gotten to kiss him once! But then we heard laughter from the front of the shelter, and quickly sprang apart. Luckily, the laughter wasn't directed at us. Apparently, one of the hobos that were gathering outside St. Christopher's had just told a very funny joke about a blond, a bald man and a can of sardines.

Giacomo reached out and cupped my face with his hand. “We will see each other soon, I promise.”

“We can't talk once we're inside, can we?” My voice was weak. I couldn't fathom how I was to stay away from him for one minute, let alone the entire evening!

“No.”

I made a face. It must have been a funny one, because he chuckled. I glared up at him.

“Scusi. I shouldn't laugh. It's just... you look like a child who's just been refused her favorite kind of candy.”

I tried not to let show how much his remark hurt me. You look like a child. I knew it! I knew that he was thinking of me as nothing but a child. In my mind, I went over the hours we had spent in each other's company. Not once had he tried to touch me in that special way or tried to kiss me. Not once had he done anything that a friend might not do. He wanted to see me, he had said. But did he place the same meaning on the words as I had? Perhaps I had read more into his words and actions than was actually there. Damn lepidoptera!

I bit down on my lip and looked down, so he wouldn't see the despair in my eyes. However, he noticed anyway.

“What's the matter?” he asked, stroking my cheek. I sighed. No, I couldn't have imagined everything. That look in his eyes... that had to be it. The real thing. Please let it be the real thing.

“Nothing,” I said, smiling up at him, happy again for a few short seconds. “You'd better go now.” Before I lose control, jump you and start kissing you all over.

“Yes.” Quickly, he looked up and down the alley. Then he leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the top of my head. “Arrivederci, my Angel.”

“I don't speak Italian”, I muttered in weak protest. But he was already striding away, out of the alley. Seeing him step into the sunlight was like a revelation to me. He suddenly stooped, the look of self-assurance disappeared from his face. He was putting on a mantle – an aura of shabbiness and unimportance that had always surrounded him in the shelter. Until that moment I hadn't realized that in my presence, he had discarded it. That, more than anything else, more even than the warmth of his lips I still felt through my locks, made me happy.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A few minutes later, I followed after him and entered St. Christopher's. The shelter was already packed with people. I headed straight for the kitchen and tried not to look anywhere else. Because if I were to catch sight of him, I wouldn't be able to help myself – I would smile. Probably I would get all doe-eyed and very possibly, I would try to fall into his arms in front of everybody.

So I kept my eyes down on my work. Work which suddenly didn't seem quite as relaxing and engrossing as usual. I got the first indication of the fact that I was a little absent-minded when Debby reminded me that usually, one doesn't make Orange juice out of apples. I looked down at the reamer in front of me and then examined the apple in my hand.