WANTED: Love of my Life

28. Unconfessable Confession

The curtain separating me from the priest slid aside. But I could still only see bits of his face through the holes in the wooden partition.

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

I was supposed to say that, OK? That's what my parents tell me! It doesn't mean that I actually think I've done something wrong. Of course I didn't. And the fact that my ears are as red as a traffic light stuck at 'please stop' hasn't got anything to do with this!

“What have you done, my daughter?” said the weary voice of father Marvin.

Well, Father, it so happens that the day before yesterday I snuck out the house. Why? Well, there's this derelict I wanted to meet in the park. And I did meet him, and then I was busy smooching him for half the night. I know nothing whatsoever about him, he's four years older than me, unemployed, may have mental problems and is so sexy I just want to rip his clothes off and...

I bit my tongue.

“Well... um...”

And for the first time, I couldn't think of anything to say. I'd always known what to say before. My parents told me: I had to confess all sins. But the thing was – Before today, I hadn't actually committed any. Not to my knowledge, anyway. So was it so bad that I let my imagination run away with me? I couldn't disappoint my Mom and Dad, after all.

“Nothing,” I said, hurriedly. “Nothing really, this week. Sorry.”

“Sorry?” Father Marvin blinked. “Angela, to sin means to do something wrong. You don't have to apologize if you haven't done wrong.”

“Oh, really? Sorry. Can I go now?”

“Angela?”

“I really should go. I have this urgent... thingy I should attend to right away...”

“Angela, look at me.”

Reluctantly, I turned back to the old priest. His brow was furrowed.

“Angela, in my time as your confessor I have heard you confess to vandalism, several armed bank robberies, serial murder, drug dealing and stealing candy from children at Halloween. Never, ever have you protested to be free of sin.”

Well, all right, perhaps I'd been a bit too imaginative. But you can't blame a girl for not wanting to disappoint her parents, now, can you?

“Well, perhaps I've decided to mend my ways,” I suggested hopefully.

“Have you? Not in the mood for homicide this week?”

I squirmed under his gaze. This was strange. I wouldn't have thought Father Marvin actually cared what the person on the other side of the partition said or didn't say. He never had before, in my case. But then, that might stem from the fact that my confessions were mostly inspired by romantic adventure novels. But what was his problem? This was the first week I actually didn't claim to have committed any crimes. Well, perhaps that was the problem. Just like my parents said, you had to confess. Well, there was one thing I could confess.

“Wait, father,” I said. “I've remembered one thing.”

“Yes, my daughter?”

“I have to confess that for the last... how long have I been coming here?”

“Five Years, my daughter. Since your first Communion.”

“Yea. That for the last five years I've been making false confessions.”

“Indeed?” Behind the partition, an eyebrow rose. “I would never have guessed it, my daughter.”

Sarcasm? Father Marvin had just used sarcasm? I had to get out of here. The cornerstones of my world were shaking.

“Yeah, well, I'm a good actress. Could you get on with it, Father? I'm rather in a hurry.”

“Of course, my daughter.” He sighed and raised his hands. “Ego te absolvo, meam filiam. God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself, and sent the Holy Spirit among us, for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

“Thanks, Father.”

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.”

“Yea, I suppose he is. Bye.”

Hurriedly, I got up and was just about to duck out of the confessional, when Father Marvin called me back again.

“Angela?”

I turned to him once more.

“Yes?”

“Some time we're going to have a talk about all the sins you didn't commit this week.”

I got out of there so fast you'd think my skirt was on fire.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

The rest of that day I buried myself in my books. My books? Yes! For I had finally managed to smuggle and stash a few of them in my room, thanks to the ingenious plan of Gold Tooth Ned. You don't know who Gold Tooth Ned is? Shame on you. He was a famous bank robber in the days of the wild, wild west, or at least he was in one of my newest acquisitions, called 'Dangerous Desire'. When the Sheriff in that story came to search his room for the booty, Gold Tooth Ned simply wrapped it in a piece of cloth and hung it outside his window. The Sheriff searched the entire room but didn't think of searching the outside of the house, so Gold Tooth Ned was safe and could pursue the innocent young daughter of the bank manager just as he had planned.

I figured my mother couldn't be that much more clever than an eighteenth century sheriff with a drinking problem, so I decided to adopt Gold Tooth Ned's plan. Not the persuing-the-innocent-daughter-of-the-bank-manager part, I mean the thing with the window and the piece of cloth, or, in my case, a Walmart shopping bag.

With a bit of effort, I fished 'Dangerous Desire' out of the plastic bag and hurried to my bed. I had just gotten to the good part where, after long separation, Ned and his beloved Sally are finally reunited. It didn't take me long to find the page where I'd left off.

'It was Monday. The whole weekend, while she was spending time with her friends and pretending that everything was normal, Sally had been fretting and worrying what could have happened to the man she had such disturbingly deep feelings for...'

Yes. This really was an excellent book.

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I wanted to publish this chapter yesterday already, but we had dreadful thunderstorms, and my internet connection was terrible. So here it is a day late. I hope you enjoy it anyway :) :)

Cheers

Robert