Abandoned, But Not Alone

17 - Resolution

We put Hannah to bed in complete silence. She was feeling bad about it and it was hurting me to see her upset. Dean tucked her in then I said my goodnight to her. I went back out to the main room. Dean was sitting at the table with a beer just staring at the table and his bottle. He looked distressed which made no sense to me since he was the one arguing with me and the one who brought it up. Once he realized I was there, he spoke up.

"Sam, I'm sorry. You're right. You are 100% right. The policy is stupid and I shouldn't have it, yet I'm not doing anything to stop it. I guess I'm just worried that maybe dad did it for my own good and maybe it should stay that way, but I'm starting to think dad was wrong. I shouldn't have been mad about you not wanting to talk to me. I should have realized how much it sucked for you feeling like you had nowhere to go and that you needed to distance yourself as much as you could. Im sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I'm so sorry, Sammy. I'm your brother and I'm supposed to be here for you but I wasn't." He ranted out sincerely. He really felt bad.

"Dean, don't be sorry. You shouldn't be, plus you don't ever have to say that to me. I understood your reasons. I was way too hard on you tonight. I didn't expect you to realize that I felt like I had nowhere to go. I was only mad because you acted like I was crazy for not feeling like I could go to you. You push us away and then wonder why I didn't originally go to you. That's not your fault. That's Dad's. I'm sorry that he made you act like that. I didn't know until you told me. I'm sorry you never got to grieve mom and that I acted like you didn't care about me. Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who needs to be apologizing. I should have just talked to you anyways regardless of how you normally act, and plus, I laid into you way too hard. I overreacted." I responded.

"Thanks, Sammy. I have an idea for future reference. If one of us wants to talk about something, just give the other a heads up about emotions and we'll talk. I don't want to shove you and Hannah away. I'm your brother. I should be here for you, and I'm like a dad to Hannah so I need to be here for her too." He suggested.

"Sounds like a good idea." I replied. "Are we good?" I asked cautiously after a bit of silence.

"We're fine, Sam. I really am going to try to get rid of all the garbage dad put in my head." He replied.

I nodded. "Well, I'm going to bed. I'm not pushing you away. I'm just tired."

"Ok. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dean."

~Dean's POV~
I went to bed too, and had trouble sleeping. I couldn't believe how bad Sam and I fought that night. I hadn't argued that much in years. Something changed me and I couldn't figure out what it was. Was it hell? Was it all the hunts? Did it have to do with Hannah? I asked myself. Sam was right and it made me realize how screwed up our lives really were when dad was around. I felt bad for Hannah. She had to deal with us fighting and I could tell it was upsetting her. Sam and I walked into the main room at almost the same time where Hannah was sitting eating some breakfast.

"Hey kiddo." I started.

"Hey." She replied sadly. "Do you need me to go somewhere again so you can finish your arguing?" She asked then looked down at her food. I didn't realize just how much we scared her.

"Hannah, look at me." She looked up into my eyes. "We are done arguing. Sam and I both apologized to each other last night and things are fine now." I explained. She nodded, but didn't perk up.

"Hannah, I'm sorry. We both are." Sam added.

"Why are you so upset?" I asked as I crouched to her level.

"I don't want you guys fighting. It scares me. I've seen a lot of fighting, and I know you guys won't hurt me, but it's reminding me of my dad." She stated. She sounded broken and I couldn't believe I hadn't realized why she was so upset. Was I really that unaware of people's feelings?

"We are really sorry, Hannah. We don't usually fight this much. I haven't fought this much with Sam in years. We still love you and we won't ever hurt you." I added. She nodded

"I love you guys too." She replied. We all sat down and had a good breakfast. She perked up after a bit. "What's the plan for today?

"I don't know. We're gonna hold off on hunting for a while to give us all a chance to relax." I replied.

"Sounds good." She stated. We pretty much just hung out for the day as usual.