Cross My Heart

Chapter 46

I waited sooo impatiently for his family to disappear around the corner down the hall, then I practically BURST back into Gavin's room. I didn't want him to be alone for a second, and it had already been several minutes. I felt horribly guilty for it.
Nate told me he was going to get us some food and he'd be back soon.

I liked when Nate would leave for food. It gave me alone time with Gavin, and I could talk even more privately and open to Gavin, in hopes that he could hear me.
This time was no exception.
I told Gavin about meeting his family and how wonderful they all are, and how lucky he is.
I told him that was the first time I'd been out of his room, and it was driving me crazy not to be by his side, breathing the same air as him.

Speaking of air, he'd been breathing on his own for the past day. So that was a GREAT sign, the doctors said. His lung was healing wonderfully, and now it was strong enough to support him.
I was so happy when there was one less big noisy machine and less wires around him. It was a giant step in the right direction. Let alone the fact that his body was functioning properly on its own.

It was sooo tense when the doctors took the machine off of him, though. I mean, if it didn't work, they'd just hook it back up, but still....it was nerve wracking as fuck!
When I heard him breathe all by himself from across the room where Nate and I stood hugging in nervousness and anxiety, (they let us stay for it, cause we're well behaved.) I bent over in tears, holding myself up by my hands on my knees, trying to cry really quietly so they wouldn't kick us out.
After that, I didn't want anyone to leave his side for a second, in case he forgot to breathe or something!

But now, that he didn't have stuff in his mouth and all, his lips looked irresistable. A little chapped, but Nate had bought some chapstick at my request, and we'd been putting it on him for the past day. I bent over him, trying to lean as best as I could without moving his body any, so as not to disturb his bullet wound.
I touched his nose with mine, and gave him a kiss right on the lips.

Then I got an idea......
I pressed my lips to his, and I left them there. I kept my lips on his and hardly moved at all, for as long as I could hold myself in that uncomfortable position over him, with nowhere to really lean.
I didn't care that my arm muscles and stomach muscles were burning. I had to do this.
He had loved it that first time we did it. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Me either, obviously. But for him...with so much experience already, for it to be so different and crazy feeling, it really MUST have been something special.
So I did that now. Hoping the feeling in my lips would get to him. Hoping he'd feel it. Hoping maybe the prolonged contact would somehow transfer my love through our lips and he'd feel it.
I didn't want him to wake up earlier than his body needed to, though. It would wake up when it was ready. I just wanted him to feel my love if he possibly could. REALLY know that I was here with him.

As I leaned there, lips against his, I started to feel....good. I started to feel like Gavin was awake and pressing his lips against mine too. Even though he wasn't. It felt good to just do that again with him. I felt our love again, just a little bit.

After a few minutes of that, I noticed the heart monitor started beeping faster. It hadn't done that in all the time I'd been in here. It made me extremely excited. Could he feel this? Was his heart rate rising because of me? Because this position was such a powerful feeling for him?
Soon, a doctor came in sort of hurriedly, and found me there, lip to lip with Gavin. It was....awkward, so I acted like I was just finishing up a kiss, and turned to see what he wanted.

"Did he wake up at all? Move? Anything?" he asked me, concerned.

"No. Not at all", I answered.

"Ok. His heart rate elevated, which can mean that someone's waking up...aware of their surroundings...but maybe it was just from you kissing him. He probably felt it. That happens. Just go easy on him. He'll wake up when he's ready", he said as he checked Gavin's charts and checked Gavin over a little bit.