Love/Fail

Chapter 28

The day caught up and I almost fell asleep in my linguini. I said goodnight to Cody, avoiding looking at him for too long. Despite Dad's advice about clearing the air, I knew I wouldn't be ready for a real conversation until we had some closure about Rupert.

I woke up stupidly early the next day. Looking at the clock, I realised I had hours to kill before I could call Nora and check in. Beach walk? Pool swim? Somehow, taking advantage of the incredible venue still seemed coarse when Rupert was in hospital.

As I shifted in bed, streaks of pain lanced through my thoracic spine. CPR, the gift that keeps on giving. The stiffness still wasn't fading, probably because I'd been so tense, it hadn't had a chance to heal. Rolling to gaze out the window, my eyes fell on the hot tub a little further along the balcony, and suddenly the longing to immerse myself in scalding water to ease my aches was overpowering. What the hell. Why not?

One of the few items I'd managed to pack was my oldest bikini, the material a faded shade of blue. I threw it on and snatched up a towel, using the sliding door of my room to access the balcony.

The Hawaiian morning was bright and clear, mocking the foreboding feeling in my heart. After so many hours Rupert's parents would have a pretty good idea of his condition; the fact they hadn't called with good news wasn't encouraging. Sighing deeply, I tried to push the negative thoughts away. Maybe he's fine. Please. Let him be fine.

The water broiled thickly in the deep tub, and I lowered myself in an inch at a time, moaning like a wounded animal. The heat seeped straight through my muscles down to my bones, and for a precious few seconds, the world was a place filled with small miracles again.

There were padded seats in the tub and I floated over to one, laying back with my head on the cushy headrest. "Oh my god," I murmured to myself, "that's amazing..."

"I can turn the bubbles on for you, if you like."

I jolted at the sound of Cody's voice. He stood further along the balcony with a cup in his hand. He was almost as glorious as the sunrise, with his dark hair tousled by the breeze and his strong shoulders rippling under his white tee. Beneath the surface of the water, I crossed my legs and squeezed them tight in an unconscious reaction. I'd assumed after everything we'd been through after the last few weeks that my libido would have vanished but it seemed where Cody was concerned, I had an everlasting supply of unrequited lust.

"No bubbles for me, thanks," I answered.

"I was kidding. I know how much you hate bubbles." Cody approached cautiously, his eyes firmly trained on my face.

"They're violent. It's the hot part that's good – why do we need noisy bubbles?" I said, repeating my old arguments, knowing that he knew them already, knowing that he would respond the way he always did.

"Because the bubbles are the best part! Otherwise you might as well just have a bath." He smiled at me sweetly. "I'm glad you're doing something for yourself."

I flinched guiltily. "It's technically therapeutic hot tubbing – not recreational fun."

"You don't have to justify to me, M. I know you're not having a holiday here, but I'm sure Rupert would want you to enjoy yourself." He trailed a hand in the water, and my far-too-active imagination vividly pictured his fingers sliding below the surface and finding my bare thigh. Inappropriate, Mia. When he said 'enjoy yourself,' that's not what he meant and you know it.

Plus, he wasn't exactly available. Last I'd heard, he was house-hunting with Savannah – although what she thought about him spending a chunk of their deposit on a last minute airfare to Hawaii, I could only imagine.