Chapter 12: "Say What?"

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sorry if it's too short and if it's the worst chapter of 'em all :-( i've been trying so hard to write anything into this chapter but only came up with this

so...enjoy, i guess?

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Word count: 1,024 words

Jonathan felt like humanity had drained itself from his soul. He didn't feel a tinge of guilt – he couldn't feel anything at all. It was hot yet cold, painful yet pleasant. The guilt from two years ago...there was none. He never felt the guilt. Now, he knew – he made it up so that he believed its existence, but now, when he could actually feel anything, it was literally anything but that certain guilt.

He needed something to make it all go away. Something. Something. He couldn't put a name to it, but there ought to be something to erase this...familiar...feeling.

"So," Evan started another conversation, standing right in front of Jonathan's pistol, the newfound pride slipping distinctly into his voice as he raised a hand to cover the gun's end and lower it for safety measures because if he didn't, there was one clear way to kill him instantly, "how do you feel now, Jonathan? Guilty? Or not at all?"

Jonathan's lower lip trembled. It was hard when Evan was starting to act somewhat befuddling like this. It almost felt like Evan was showing him something, but what?

Grinning from ear-to-ear, Evan slowly twisted the gun off Jonathan's grip – without involving the other's arm into any kind of harm, of course – and grabbed it into his own instead. "Damn, how bad did Craig hit you anyway?," he continued, "the shock must've been still embedded on you that you practically lost the access key to your memory."

"C-Craig?," Jonathan said, voice cracking over, "he's dead in a car crash...right?"

"Dead-er than ever!," Evan said in a sing-song voice, which annoyed the hell out of Jonathan, "I've never thought that his death would come up onto the surface that soon, but then, the bubble popped – the twist had to happen sooner or later, y'know? Tyler ended his own fiancé's life. What a shame. Don't you think?"

Wait. What? That was the piece of information Jonathan never knew about. All he knew was that he was there – right on the day after he checked out from the hospital, attending Craig's funeral in his tuxedo, giving out his eulogy, and soothing Tyler from his grief like it was some other accidental death that was never meant to happen. But, God, for how long had he been so wrong? It was Tyler all along.

What kind of sick world is this?, he thought, holding onto his head with one hand as he staggered backwards. Craig and Tyler...they were so in love! How could this happen to both of them?

"You see, people do crazy things when they're crazily in love, Jonathan," Evan suddenly spoke up again, tracing the contour of the gun, "like...like you want the one you love kills the one he's currently in love with. Like you want to get rid of the pricks that have been on your way since day one. It is that crazy, Jon."

Jonathan's head started to spin. Fuck, what was Evan talking about? He was out of his mind.

"Can we just...go back to where you left off about Craig hitting me? And how did Tyler get involved in it when it surely was a car crash?," Jonathan croaked out with extra effort, boosting his own consciousness by knocking his head using the heel of his palm, "please?"

"Dang. Okay, okay, fine. You said the magic word," Evan said, holding both of his hands up in an act of yielding, hooking the trigger guard of the pistol on one finger so it dangled on his palm, "Craig didn't die in the car crash. Surely, he crashed his car before that. He crashed it to you."

Jonathan almost choked on a laugh, but he eventually couldn't let it out. He knew it was pretty much serious since Evan didn't laugh or anything – he was looking at Jonathan for some sort of reaction out of him as he slowly put his hands back down.

"Y-You're not joking?," Jonathan asked hesitantly, and Evan sighed out loud before he smiled.

"I never meant it to be a joke either," the raven-haired replied, "there had never been jokes around here."

The flashing moment of seeing a set of determined eyes behind a zooming car's windshield suddenly came to him real hard. He had seen Craig somewhere once before everything went down to a series of unfortunate events, and now he figured where he had seen him. Screwing his eyes shut, he now knew what was worse than being hit by a speeding car: being hit by your own friend with a speeding car.

"Except for that brother complex thing, though. I totally made that up," he continued, voice amused and all, turning around so his back faced Jonathan, "damn, I'm good at making up stories. I guess I should definitely give a go on making fanfictions about us."

Jonathan gaped. "Excuse me?," he shouted on top of his lungs, "did I just catch the fact that you lied to me in my radar?!"

"To be honest, every step you had taken for these two years had been a big fat lie, Jonathan," Evan deadpanned, making it clear that he didn't like the idea of being called as a liar, "but, your head had never, ever taken the risk to actually remember stuff. You were fucked up, and I was there to fix it. Nevertheless, I know that much already that you're still a clueless shit because you know nothing what I'm talking about right now."

"You killed my sister, Evan! And now you're telling me this?! That- That I was fucked up, while you weren't?!" Jonathan half-screamed, "that was what I took upon since that car hit me! The news of you stabbing my sister on the face! Something is wrong with you!"

"That's where you're wrong, Jonathan. Nothing is wrong with me because I was just trying to help you. As a lover, I pitied you," Evan said, sighing and his shoulders slumped down. He turned around and raised his arm, aiming the gun onto Jonathan's chest and pushed on it with force.

"You killed your sister. Even everyone in the crew knew about this."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE #14

and again, i'm so sorry :-(


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