Zero

Chapter 34

"But you did," he points out and I snap. If I weren't so tired still and so worried about Braces, I could probably do a better job of filtering myself. Instead my lips part and out falls the first thing on my mind.

"And you're what? Jealous?" I sound like a brat. But he did sort of start it with the sarcastic remarks about my 'friend' even though he knows I don't remember him.

"A little," he says completely unashamed. He runs a hand through his hair. "Look. I know it's stupid."

"You're right." I try not to sound hurt but to be honest, that he wishes he knew me, that he's jealous of someone who did hurts a little. It's like the me now isn't enough. "He doesn't know me and the person he knew, I didn't. Stop acting like a child."

He smirks, unable to hold back his chuckle. "Did you just call me childish?"

I nod. "You're worse than Squirrel," I tease him.

"Oh," he says dramatically putting a hand over his heart as if I've wounded him.

Rolling my eyes I tell him, "Come on, we need to go."

We wake up Bryan and Zoe and Claire, they're all groggy and want more sleep, but when I threaten to leave without them they all move much more quickly. I know they're tired and hungry and probably very thirsty as well, but we all. The quicker we get to where we're going the quicker we'll have access to food and water and even beds.

"So this that the medicine is for," Bryan starts, catching up to me as we walk. "He saved you?"

"Yep," I say popping the 'p' and really having no desire to continue this conversation.

"Damn." He shakes his head as if he can't believe it. "I'm sorry, Amelia."

I look at him. He hasn't questioned the fact that no one else is calling me that name, and yet he continues. I can't tell if he's stuck on old habits or if he is just that unobservant.

"I should say thank you," I say feeling the need to clear up this misunderstanding. "For helping me. And I know you think that you know me, but you don't."

"Of course I do," he says smiling. He reaches a hand into his back pocket and pulls out a wallet. I lean curiously toward him, interested that he still even carries one. He pulls out a handful of pictures from the slot where money is kept. They're creased from the folds of the wallet but still easy to see. "I took them after Rachel..." he trails off but the message is clear. These pictures belonged to Rachel, but he took them after she died and has hung onto them. I wonder if it's out of fondness or as a reminder of the people he's failed.

He passes the pictures to me and I stare wide-eyed at the first one. It's such a surreal experience that I forget to walk for a moment. The photo is of two girls, both blondes with wide smiles. One of them is clearly me. Only not. This girl has sparkling eyes full of life and an easy smile that looks as if it gets used often. She's not shying away from the other girl whose arms are wrapped tightly around her.

They look so happy, so free.

I flip to the next picture. Bryan is in this one as is another girl – the same one from the first who I can only assume is Rachel. He's lips are pressed sloppily to her cheek. She's looking at him out of the corner of her eye, smiling in a way that I think she must have been laughing when the picture was taken. My face is pressed closely to hers, smiling along at the joke. The other boy is standing behind me, resting his chin on the top of my head.

I move that one to the bottom of the stack.

The third is another picture of me and Rachel. My hair is down and straightened in a style that I can't possibly remember ever seeing myself in. We're wearing nice dresses and blowing kisses at the camera.