Cassie

Chapter Two: Liz

 I could barely hold all my tears in when I retreated to my home, leaving Matt's van in a rush, my eyes already starting to well up with tears. I made a beeline for my room, my heels stomping on the ground. I tripped over the living room floor, toppling over. I laid on the ground, my tooth pulsing in pain, my nose buried in an old, crusty patch of carpet. I lifted myself up, my dress covered in dog fur. I didn't care, everything around me disappearing, leaving only me and anguish. I limped to my room, my whole body aching. When I closed my door, everything started to build up. I let out a loud wail and kicked the wall, one of my high heels flying off across the room. I didn't even care, jerking my other foot around enough to make the other shoe fall. I ripped at my dress, shimmying out of it ungracefully and letting it fall to the floor. I gripped onto my hair, my nails digging into my scalp. I could hear someone coming down the hall.

"Liz?" My mom called, her voice filled with concern. I didn't answer, clenching my hands in fists, trapping my hair in my palms. "Lizzy?" She knocked on my door lightly. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks. "I'm fine!" I shouted, my voice harder and louder than I meant it to be. My mom paused. "Lizzy, can I come in?" She asked. "I'm changing!" I yelled, trying to keep myself from sobbing. I could her my mother take a deep breath, exhaling loudly. "I'm going to come back in five minutes to check on you, okay Liz?" She sounded rather impatient, her voice slightly strained and laced with irritation. I didn't answer. I could hear her walk away. I sat down on my bed and got dressed, fumbling with my clothes through a mask of tears. I slipped under the covers, clutching a pillow while sobbing loudly. I stayed there until my mom came in, her voice low and soothing. I laid down on my bed, letting my mom stroke my hair. She talked to me, but I couldn't make out the words, only focusing on her melodic voice as she spoke, trying to comfort me. I fell asleep with her by my side, my whole body shaking in the cold of my room.

When I woke up, it was the middle of the day. Groggy and lethargic, I pulled myself out of my bed, stumbling around my room with my lids half-closed. I stretched out, my body aching as I bent my joints. My throat was sore and raw. I considered going downstairs to get a glass of water, but my body complained every time I moved even slightly. I plopped back down on my bed with a groan. I sat there for quite some time before standing up again. I aimlessly rifled through my closet, pretending I was going to get dressed. I slid hangers down the wooden bar with violent, jerky motions of my arm, mumbling under my breath. I started to reach the back of my closet where all of my older clothing was. I kept searching pointlessly, unsure of what I was looking for. Suddenly I paused, as my eye landed on a dress.

It was a short dress, much too small for me. It was a deep wine color, the fabric inside the pleats a pleasant lilac color. I reached out and felt the fabric. I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering. It was Cassie's first dress. I remembered helping her put it on for the first time early freshmen year.

"It looks terrible," Cassie declared, sighing disappointedly as she examined herself in the mirror. I rolled my eyes. "Jesus christ, it looks fine," I said, before reconsidering my word choice. "Great on you, actually, I look horrible in it," Cassie sighed, crossing her arms and shrinking slightly. "I don't know," She said, her voice trailing off. "It's meant for someone with actual curves," She said, turning to the side to examine herself. I frowned, knowing she was right. It was tight and formfitting, and seemed out of place on her straight, boyish body. I patted her on the back awkwardly, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Want to do your make-up?" I asked. She lit up, grinning. "Now that is something I can get into!" She laughed.

I stood by as Cassie applied her make-up, expertly smoothing the lines of her eyeliner. I looked on, impressed by how good she was. "Damn, you're good," I whistled as she began to contour her face. She shrugged, trying to act modest and subtle, but I could see the grin on her face. "I'm not that good. Besides, this is all cheap, expect for the stuff from Cheryl," I nodded, watching her finish up her face. She spun around in the dressing-table chair and framed her face with her hands. She smiled at me. "How do I look?" She asked. "Amazing," I said, still surprised by how good she was. "Do you want to do your hair now?" I asked. Her face dropped, a frown replacing her former grin. "What's wrong?" I raised an eyebrow. She sighed. "It's just going to look ugly. It's too short to do anything with it. Mom won't let me grow it out," She mumbled. "She says it's "not for boys,"," She said, raising her voice to an annoying pitch as she mimicked her mom. I patted her shoulder. "It doesn't matter, plenty of women have short hair, and they're as beautiful as anyone else," I declared, tipping my chin up. Cassie considered it for a moment. "I know but...I just really want long hair, I guess," She pursed her lips. I put my hands on my hips. "Cassie, a few years from now, you're going to have long, flowing hair, nice clothes, great make-up, whatever the hell you want, and if anyone ever screws around with you, you can walk with your head high knowing you struggled to be a lady, which makes you more of a woman than anybody else," Cassie smiled, and nodded. "Then let's get started," She stood up, confident. "That's more like it," I grinned.