iridescent :: tyler joseph

twenty two

A/N:

*staind voice* it's been a while

OKAY FIRST OFF WHAT HTE FUCK THANK YOU FOR 3K WHAT IS GODING ON

i owe everything to you angels !!

-

Tyler grasped onto my body as I sobbed and shook with fear and pain. I sat completely still, my knees pulled into my chest and my head tucked in between them. He clung tightly to me, kissing my head and repeating muffled, "Sorry's," and broken down, "I love you's."

Millions of emotions clouded my confused mind as I brought my arms up to hug Tyler back tightly. I felt his teary cheeks come in contact with my shoulder, sadness shaking up my chest.

"Tyler," I sobbed. "are you okay?"

"I think so," he replied, not breaking away from me. His voice was small and raspy, laced with depression. "but I don't really care about my well-being. I care way more about yours."

We finally broke away, staring into each others eyes. His stare looked softer and engulfed in a phase of sadness and concern rather than hatred and evil. He placed his lips softly on mine for a split second, our cold, tear soaked skin connecting. He pulled away and stood up slowly, helping me up as well.

"Are you hurt?" Tyler asked, his voice cracking from all sorts of aspects. I nodded lightly, holding out my extremely sore arm.

It was already a little swollen and very red. Tyler held it very gently and placed his lips to the upset skin. I winced a bit as he pulled away and engulfed me in another hug, avoiding coming in rough contact with my arm.

"Bri, I'm so fucking sorry." Tyler cried, into the nape of my neck and shoulder. I brought my other arm up to his back and placed my shaking fingertips on the exposed skin, tracing little circles onto his shoulder blade.

Regardless of all the chaos we'd just went through, I felt at ease. I was extremely relieved that Tyler was back to being himself, but I was also confused.

"Tyler?" I asked, causing him to break away and sit on the edge if the guest bed.

"Yeah?"

I plopped down next to him, taking his hand in mine. "Why'd that happen?"

"Please don't get mad at me," he began, interlocking our eyes. I nodded gently, biting my lip down nervously. "I forgot to take my night medicine last night."

"That's okay, Tyler. Sometimes, people forget-"

"But that's not it," he interrupted. My eyes grew wide.

"I woke up this morning at around eight and my head was pounding. I remembered that I hadn't taken my meds and then I chose not to get up and take them. I chose this. I didn't think it would happen since I've gotten a lot better because of you, but obviously I was wrong."

"It's okay, Tyler," I replied, rubbing his hands. He shook his head violently again, sniffling.

"No it's not! Nothing is okay!" he cried, removing his hands from my grasp and placing them at the base of his skull.

"Tyler-"

"I thought I was better, but I wasn't!" he yelled to himself, standing up from the bed. "I'm a fucking monster, Bri, and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Stop," I stated, trying to stay calm. I felt myself tear up again as I watched Tyler sob against the doorway.

"I have to go," he whispered lowly, wiping his ongoing tears from the dark circles under his eyes. I ran rapidly to him, grabbing his arm in plea.

"No, Tyler, please don't go! This won't help anything!" I exclaimed, letting my sobs fall from the core of my throat.

"Yes it will," he shook his head, wriggling from my light hold. "it'll save you."

"Tyler!" I called as he made his way down my thin hallway. "I'm absolutely nothing without you! Please stay!"

"This is for you, Bri. I love you." he said lowly, his voice cracking in sadness as he slipped his vans on.

My heart felt like it had shattered in a million pieces as he swung my front door open.

I felt like I'd been in this place before.

Because I had.

With Josh.

"Please!" I cried, actually sinking to my knees. My whole body felt like it was giving out as he looked back at me one last time and tried to give me a sad smile. Instead, it was just a blank grimace, laced with visible fear and depression.

And then the front door closed.

-

i'm crying too