Hey There, Delilah - A 5 Seconds of Summer story

Chapter 31

He turned away from me, breathing heavily. All his muscles were tensed, ready to run or fight.

I was frozen with shock.

What the hell?

“Hey, hey.” I walked over and put a hand on his shaking shoulder.

He flinched. I bit my lip.

“Luke…I…” I didn’t really know how to finish that sentence. “It’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me what it is.” Luke’s voice was hoarse. He turned around to face me. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”

“I’m a mess.” I said, truthfully. “A wreck. But you really think I’d do that just when the going got good? It hurts that you don’t trust me.”

“I do, Del. I mean, I want to.”

“I wouldn’t trust me either, a while ago.” I admitted in a whisper. “But I’m better, can’t you see that? I’m smiling and laughing and eating and talking and happy. I’m so goddamned happy, Luke, and if you think I’d ruin it all for an overdose, than you’re even stupider than you look.”

His eyes were wet. “When did it become stupid to worry?”

“When there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Why’d you take them?”

“I’m having trouble sleeping. I just keep waking up. Nightmares.”

“You’re still having nightmares?”

“I was. The pills work. That’s why I was taking them. I need to sleep or my energy runs low and I’m exhausted and I don’t want to eat or move or do anything. I’m a bitch when I don’t sleep.”

“You’re a bitch when you do.” Luke joked.

I shoved him, a small smile on my face.

Luke grabbed my wrist and instead of falling (like I’d hoped to do with my push), he pulled me to him and hugged me close, resting his chin on the top of my head.

“Let’s see if we can find a better way.” He mumbled, his voice reverberating through me.

“I’m out of suggestions. I’ve tried everything.”

He pulled back to look at me, biting his lip nervously. “You could sleep with me.”

My eyes widened in shock. “What!?”

“Not like that not like that!” Luke assured me, raising his palms in surrender.

“Then how?” I demanded around my red face.

Luke raised a shoulder and dropped it in a half-shrug. “Just stay in my bunk with me. Then I’ll be there if you wake up and maybe you’ll feel safer or something. I won’t try anything, Del. You can trust me.”

Bitter words of “like you trusted me?” Were on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them back.

I was torn. There was a part of me that really, really liked the idea of being close to Luke. And another part was screaming that it was a very bad idea. But a third part of me was so exhausted of fighting him.

“Ok.” I said, softly.

He looked surprised, expecting my answer to be the opposite. “Ok?”

“Yeah. Ok. We’ll give it a go.” I was proud that my voice didn’t shake a bit, even though I was extremely nervous.

Luke smiled at me and I felt my heart race at the sight of it.

My heart was a traitorous thing.