Cole

Breakup

I was dying inside but had to try to hide it.

"My mind is made up.  Please go.  Don't sit next to me anymore.  I don't want you to be with me anymore,"  I said and lied.

"No!  Your not going to do this to me.  I belong to you".

She started coming towards me.

"No Manda!  Go away.  I don't want you anymore!", I lied.

"No!  No", she said.  She started kicking me hard  I didn't care I let her hit me as hard as she wanted.  She even kicked me in the balls.  I let he do that too.  I did not care.

She suddenly broke down and collapsed on the ground in big sobs.  I was crying too, but I tried to hide it by covering my eyes with my hands.

Suddenly she got up and threw her books at me, which fell to the ground and spilled all around.  She then ran off, but not into the school but away from the school into the neighborhood.  I just stood there and cried.

"Where are you going?"  I cried out loud in her direction.  She looked back at me all red in the face and covered in tears but did not respond and kept on going.  I picked up her books and slowly trudged towards the school.

When I got into the school I went to my locker and put her books into my locker for safekeeping and collapsed in sobs on the floor in front of it. Other kids were walking around me and I could hear some kids whispering stuff and making comments, but I didn't care.  I didn't care about anything.

Eventually the hallways got quiet as kids had gone to their homerooms.  I just continued to sit on the floor.

"Hey you!", I heard someone say.  I looked up and it was a teacher.  "You should be in homeroom.  Do you want a detention!"

"Go to Hell!", was all I said.

"What did you say?", he said.

"Go to Hell!  Go to Hell!  Go to Hell!  Don't you have ears!  How many times do I need to repeat it!', I yelled at the teacher. 

I then stood up.  At 6 foot 2" and all muscle I towered over him.

"Are going to go to the Principle's office with me?," he said.

"No, I am going to leave the building", I said.

"Your not allowed to do that.  Who are you?  Your that Cole Hammond kid, right?  The one that put half the football team in the hospital earlier this year, right?"  he asked.

"Yes, and leave me alone.  You don't want any trouble," I said.

"I don't want any trouble....  You don't want any trouble.  What's wrong with you?", he said.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend, the most beautiful and nicest girl in all the world.  I feel like I want to die."

"Why did you do that.  It sounds like you still want her."

There was a long pause where I did not say anything.

"Of course I still want her, but I am no good for her.  I am a monster.  She deserves better, and I want her to find somebody else."

"Hey you, I am no expert at human relationships as I am divorced myself, but don't you think that is her choice and not yours?", he said coming closer to me.  Tears were streaming down my face.

"She can't make the choice because she does not really know me and can't know me", I said.

I looked at his face for a long time but could not think of anything to say.

"I gotta go......please", was all I eventually said

"Okay", he said.  "Where are you going?"

"Someplace to think.  I need a walk"

"I'm not supposed to let you go without a note or something from your parents."

"I have to get out of here", I said.

"I'll probably get in trouble but I will let you go," he eventually said.  "Just tell me where you are going so I can tell your parents."

"I am going to walk down to the beach."

"Alright," he said, and I walked off and went straight out the door.  I then turned and slowly walked down to the beach which was about eight miles away.  It was the longest walk I ever took.  I cried most of the way.

When I arrived at the beach I just walked through the sand until I got to the part that was hard and damp with seawater, sat down, and watched the waves. 

I remembered saving Manda's life here.  I nearly died myself but I would do anything for her and searched underwater for her body the longest time until I was about to breath in water.  Of course she had a melt down and was really pissed off at me afterwards for making out with her in the water, but I loved her more than life itself and she started it.  We were a great couple and had loads of fun here and on our Adam and Eve dates.

I remembered saying to myself while I was trying to save her that if I was not able to save her I would just swim out to sea and drown myself because I did not want to live without her. 

Here I am just a few months later and dumping her when all she wanted was to stay with me.  That would not make any sense except for one big change in my life:  The Secret of the Neurosynths.  That destroyed me.

I just sat there in the sand the longest time.

Suddenly there was a lot of noise coming from the parking lot and someone started to honk a horn frantically.  I could not help but come out of my stupor and look in that direction. 

What I saw surprised me.  There was Jill standing by her car in the parking lot looking at me and waving her arms frantically.  Something was wrong.

I got up, and instinctively ran over to her.  Her face was ashen.

"Cole, I have very bad news.  Mrs. Westbrook just called me at the house.  Manda tried to kill herself.  She is in very bad shape.  The EMTs that came to the Westbrook home took her away, but they don't think she is going to live.  The school told me you would be here."