The Gift of Girls

Chapter Eight: Ringo

"In short," George said to conclude his story, "I think she's a bitch."

"You can't say words like that in front of your baby!" I cried, glancing anxiously at Serenity, who was sucking on her hand, completely oblivious to everything.

"I don't care," George mumbled. "I don't want to see Gina ever again."

"You're mad, George," Paul said. "I think Gina is a lovely girl."

"No, you don't," George said defiantly. "You think she looks nice. You don't know what she's really like."

"Does it really matter?" Paul asked.

George let out a small frustrated scream and turned his back on us. He lifted Serenity out of his lap and plonked her on the carpet in front of him, proceeding to play "This Little Piggy" with her tiny toes. I think it was just a ploy to avoid speaking to us further about his disastrous date.

There was an awkward silence. 

"So, Johnny, how did your date with Jodie go?" I asked, desperate to make conversation.

"Oh, it was just fine and dandy," John said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Oh?" Paul said, raising an eyebrow.

"Jodie's a lovely girl, but she was just..." John's voice trailed away.

"Was she a massive bitch, too?" George asked, not looking up.

"No, she was really nice to me," John replied.

"Then what's the problem? I inquired.

"She had..." John paused and shuddered before continuing,"... cats."

"Cats?" Paul and I said in unison. George glanced up in surprise. Even baby Serenity seemed to think this was odd and stared at John with a confused expression on her chubby little face.

"Yes. Cats," John said.

"But you like cats, John," Paul pointed out.

"Yeah, you've been begging us to let you have one for ages," I added.

"Well, we're not getting one!" George said frantically. "I don't want it scratching my baby girl!"

"Keep your hair on, Geo. We're not getting a cat," John mumbled.

"Why not?" Paul asked.

"I've decided having a cat around wouldn't be good for us. They can jump up and knock things over. They can scratch people. They leave hair all over the place. They squash dicks. They can - "

"They can what?" I cried, cutting him off. "Since when do cats squash dicks?"

"As of this afternoon," John replied airily. "Jodie has about fifteen cats. Most of them are little kittens, but she's got several massive ones - bigger than Serenity, even. This massive white and ginger one jumped up on top of me, causing me to nearly topple off the couch, and made a little nest for itself right on top of my crotch!"

"Oh dear," Paul said, trying not to laugh.

"Oh dear, all right," John groused. "Now if I'm not able to have kids, just blame the tabby."

"I'm sure you'll live, Johnny," I said, rolling my eyes. "You'll have to anyway. We're going out with the girls again next Saturday."

My announcement received a very mixed reaction. Paul practically exploded with excitement; George remained silent and stone-faced; John let out a long, rather annoying moan. I knew protests and complaints were going to pile up at an alarming rate if I didn't say something.

"I won't have any of you lot whinging about this. I set us up with these girls because I want you guys to be happy."

"How can we be happy if we're all bloody miserable?" George asked maddeningly. 

"You'll just have to lump it, Geo," I said primly. "You never know, Gina just might begin to grow on you if you let her."

"You're making her sound like a wart," George said, pulling a face. "And I thought she couldn't be any less appealing."

"Listen, Geo, I know you're upset, but you don't have to make such a big deal about it." I knelt down and looked him straight in the eye. "Think about your daughter. I bet she enjoyed herself."

"You don't know that," George grumbled.

"Fine. I'll ask her." I knelt down further and held Serenity's damp clenched fist. "Hi, Serenity!"

"Unca Riga!" Serenity crowed, smiling happily at me.

I smiled back at her, then asked, "Reeny, do you like Daddy's new lady friend?" 

"Gigi?" Serenity said, then grinned again. "Gigi funny!"

I looked at George, raising my eyebrows meaningfully. George's expression was blank, as if he was staring at something far off in the distance, but I knew that he'd been beaten. I smirked and got back to my feet. Paul and John were both staring at me, waiting for a further announcement.

"I think Serenity has the right idea," I said eventually. "She quite enjoyed meeting Gina, so why shouldn't we all try to enjoy ourselves, too?"

"Well, my definition of enjoyment is different from Reeny's," John said quietly.

Paul gave his head a swat and told him not to be so immature.

"So, we all agree?" I asked. "We're going through with a second date?"

Paul agreed noisily, and he shook John's shoulders until he gave in and agreed too. I looked at George, expecting him to make a fuss. But he simply got to his feet, adjusted Serenity more comfortably in his arms, and strolled out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.