Worth The Risk {h.s}

Chapter 20.

When I got home, I should have been hungry, but I just wasn't. My heart and chest ached. Harry was all I could think about. When everything in my family was crashing down around me, he was the one who grounded me, who made it seem like it would get better. I didn't know what would happen now.

Harry wouldn't sit around and wait for me to turn eighteen. He was attractive, rich, and sweet. There would be girls falling all over him, girls of legal age. Was it the visit to the police station that had pushed him to break it off with me or was there someone else in the picture? I wanted to believe that it was the police station visit. That would be less painful.

I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake, tossing and turning until around four in the morning. My eyes had ran out of tears but every time I would think of Harry, I would want to cry again. I felt so strange sleeping alone and in my own bed. My chest heaved up and down and I thought I was going to puke.

The next morning I couldn't make myself get out of bed. I always kind of laughed at girls who would skip school over a break up but now I was that girl. Going to school today just wasn't in me and since it was Friday, I would have the weekend to recuperate. There was no way I would be alright by then but I would be able to attend school.

I felt empty inside. My pain had drained my body of any energy that I had. I cried on and off throughout the day, not that it would help my situation at all. I wondered if Harry was feeling as much pain as me. Maybe he didn't love me as much as I did him. Maybe he was laying in bed, trying to push away his feelings. I would never know, though.

I had only ate a granola bar and a few strawberries today. My refrigerator and cabinets were almost bare because I'd been staying at Harry's house so much. I would have to stop by the store for some food pretty soon but I didn't see why. I didn't feel much like eating and I had a feeling I wouldn't any time soon.

My phone rang from the coffee table in the front room. My heart raced at the thought that it could be Harry. Maybe he changed his mind and wanted me to come back over to his house. Maybe he had rethought what we had said last night and wanted to find a way to work it out. My racing heart plummeted into my stomach when I seen that it was the number my dad had called from before. I thought about not even answering. It rang again and again as the pain from last night resurfaced, Harry's words playing over and over again in my mind.

I answered my phone on the last few seconds of the ringtone.

"Jessica, we have a meeting planned for Wednesday at eight in the morning at the court house."

"Please don't do this, dad. Please. I can take care of myself until mom gets home."

"Wednesday morning at eight. No exceptions," he hung up the phone.

After the call, all I wanted to do was go to Harry's house but that wasn't an option for me anymore. The thoughts pulled at my heart strings. I picked up the tv remote and threw it across the room. The smacking sound that it made against the wall didn't make me feel any better. The pain was still with me full force.

It'd just been a day and I missed Harry so much that I didn't know how to deal with myself. I missed his voice, his touch, and even his scent, manly and minty, and him. I wanted his strong arms wrapped around me, his body moving in sync with mine, just one more time. I knew one more time would never be enough but it would take the pain away, numb it, at least for a little while.

Nothing I did could distract me from my thoughts. I tried reading, homework, and a movie, and couldn't focus of any of them. Something always reminded me of Harry and the fact that I could no longer call him mine.

I knew getting involved with him would just end in me getting hurt but I still didn't regret any of the time I spent with him. Harry was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I would never find anyone else as smart, charming, sweet, or sexy as him ever. I should feel lucky to have had him for as long as I did. He was simply the best, a perfect match for me, and I'd lost him, maybe for good.

The next days, maybe even weeks, weren't going to be good ones. I would be dealing with a broken, aching heart for who knew how long. There was also the possibility of my dad getting full custody of me weighing me down. I wondered how my life had become so chaotic in a matter of months. My fingers toyed with my phone and no matter how many times I tried to delete Harry's number, I just couldn't do it. That would make it feel even more final that Harry and I were done.

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