ForeverLasting (Book 10 in Nemi Forever Series)

Chapter 13

Demi

I was on a natural high as I was backstage at Dancing with the Stars, waiting for Nick to come back. Derek & I had done really well with our routine & got three 8's from the judges, the highest score of the night. I was so proud of myself & when Nick came backstage, I ran to hug him after he congratulated me. I didn't notice the pain in his eyes. I didn't notice the fear in his shaky voice. I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't notice.

I had a smile on my face the entire ride home as I cuddled against Nick in the backseat of the car that was taking us to our house. I felt him kiss my head & heard him sigh. "I need to talk to you when we get home." He murmured, against my head.

I perked up & grinned at him. "Sounds serious."

I saw his Adam's apple move up & down when car lights flashed across his head & then he cleared his throat. "It's just something I need your undivided attention for." He said as he stared out the car window.

"Okay." I replied, still smiling & leaning my head back on his shoulder. When we got home, I looked at Nick as he closed our front door. "I'm gonna wash up & get into my jammies. You want to meet me in the bedroom or the family room?"

Nick sighed, then shrugged. "Just find me when you're done."

I nodded, then headed upstairs to get ready for bed. I had showered backstage after the show, so I didn't need to do much. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Nick was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor. He didn't budge when I came in, almost as if he didn't hear me. "Okay, sweetie. I'm all yours."

Nick still wasn't moving or acknowledging my presence. I cleared my throat as I stood right in front of him. He looked up, appearing confused as he shook his head, slightly. "Sorry. I was deep in thought I guess."

"So... what do you need to talk to me about?" I asked him, running my finger down his cheek.

Nick's eyes closed for a moment as he sighed. He reached up to take my hand, then stared at our hands together. His thumb caressed my knuckle, just above my wedding ring. "There are a few things I need to talk to you about, actually. Can you sit please?" He asked as he lifted his head to look at me.

I nodded my head as I sat on the bed next to him. We both turned to face each other, him lifting one leg & bending it while I sat with my legs crossed. I noticed his gaze wasn't focusing on me, but wandering around the entire room. "Nick, I'm a little scared now. What's going on?"

"I want to tell you something that I should have told Dr. West, but I didn't." His sentence came out, slowly.

"Okay. Why didn't you tell her, if I may ask?" 

Nick was avoiding looking into my eyes & it was starting to freak me out. "Because I knew she would read more into it & would be more concerned than she needed to be." His eyes raised to finally meet mine & I held my breath. "She told me I could have PTSD setbacks..." His voice trailed off.

"You're having nightmares about Olivia again?" I asked, my expression showing my confusion.

He let out a breath, sounding annoyed & shook his head. "No. Dr. West said I could have moments of depression that in a way stem from the PTSD. Like because I had it, I'm susceptible to all kinds of depression. I mean I know it isn't the exact same as bipolar, but depression of any kind can be similar." He said, looking back at me as I nodded. "Well, I didn't tell Dr. West about some of the thoughts I've had & I didn't let her know that my depression is worse than I made it out to be."

My eyebrows came together as I tried to wrap my head around what Nick was saying. "Thoughts? Worse than you made it out to be? What does all that mean?" I knew what it meant, but I was hoping it meant something else.