Memories So Vivid

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The anger and self-hatred,

Swirls round in my head,

My past and mistakes,

Lie with me in bed,

A silent depression,

swallows me whole,

No means of escape,

Nowhere to go,

The anguish it pounds,

Violently in my head,

I cannot sleep,

What can I do instead?

My actions so familiar,

As I lock the door,

Inside I feel lonely,

Inside I feel sore,

I feel dizzy with sickness,

As I hang over the basin,

My wrist outstretched,

I shake with concentration,

I force myself,

To slash and cut,

There is no alternative,

There is no but,

It's ugly to others,

It's horrendous to some,

But it's mine to live with,

From it I cannot run,

There are people who try,

To manipulate and use,

My fragile state,

They try to abuse,

I'm already hurting, God damn you,

Don't  damage me,

No one asked you to notice,

No one asked you to see,

Now they're all scars,

They begin to fade,

But the memory's still vivid,

It won't go away.

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A/N: Sorry to my readers who don't have any experience with self-harm and depression, but it just felt like one of those days. Please vote, fan and comment to let me know what you think.

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