Probably Not... (GirlxGirl)

Just Give Me a Reason

CHAPTER 4

The next day we had been in the lunch room talking when I pulled up my jacket sleeve and she noticed the cuts on my wrists, I pulled down my sleeve to cover it, I knew she saw it, but she didn't mention it or point it out.

Charolette walked me to my fifth period and gave me a hug. When my arms slipped around her neck, I jumped back in pain, "Ow, my arm," I said not thinking.

"I know, I saw it," Damn, I figured she wouldn't have mentioned it. It was my own stupid fault for mentioning it. Actually, it was my own stupid fault for doing it.

"I'm sorry," I said honestly

"It's fine," she said, she was being kind of distant. I hugged her and walked into my fifth period. I was so consumed with thinking that about everything, my fifth and sixth period passed by in a blur.

The musical was coming up, so the teacher, Mr.Sessa was cracking down on rehearsal timings and being there so everyone had to be in there before two, like 1:50. This was so that we could help out. This also meant I had less time to hang out with Charo- I mean uh hang out in general. 

We were all hanging out when Carmen went inside and Tiffany followed so it was just Charolette and I. We just sat there in an awkward silence.

"Charolette?" I said, something extremely random popping into my head.

"Yeah?" She looked up at me from her phone.

"This is going to sound really strange, but can I- can I still call you Bunny?" I said referring to the nickname I had given her when we were dating. Everyone said this nickname was confusing. I came up with the nickname because she always twitches her nose to the side like a bunny.

A huge grin stretched itself across her face, "Of course you can," she said pulling me into a hug, I jumped when my wrist touched her shoulder, "Sorry," she said looking apologetic.

"Don't be it's my own stupid fault," I said grabbing my sleeve and tugging it back over the scabs.

"No, it's my fault," I looked up at her, "You probably did that because of me, huh?" 

I felt my jaw drop, but my mind didn't really process any physical movement my body was making, I was only going over what she had said. She blamed herself for me cutting...that made no sense, she was pulling a lot of nonsense out lately.

"No, it wasn't your fault, Char," I said honestly.

"No you probably did it because I'm stupid and I make stupid mistakes and the only thing I know how to do it fuck everything up, I'm sorry Anna," she said.

Wait wait wait, was she saying that I was cutting myself because of a mistake she made? Did that make the same amount of sense to you, reader, that it did to me? I think this was her way of saying it was a mistake that she broke up with me.

I moved on with the conversation, rather than elaborating on this newfound excellence,"No, I cut because, I was making you depressed by being around you and I felt like you didn't want me around and I knew I couldn't lose you as a friend too." I admitted.

"No wait, stop right there, you were not making me depressed, if anything you were making me happy," She said turning to look at me directly. My heart still skipped a beat when her eyes met mine.

"Bu- but then, why have you been so, out of it, not yourself?" I asked earnestly.

"Chelse and I have been fighting a lot," she mumbled.

"Oh," Great, now we were talking about Chelse: my sworn enemy that I'd never met. I know. Stupid. I just didn't like talking about her because she was able to take Charolette away from me by convincing her of her feeling for her. Chelsea was the reason I was girlfriend-less.