My Horrible Ex-Husband

Chapter Nine: One Horrible Idea

“Caleb – Baby,” Eli began. 

“Don’t baby me,” I growled. “Don’t even Eli. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Huh? James all over you, giving you hand jobs on the fucking beach! I can’t believe you! All that shit you said about caring about me and having feelings for me and now this kid comes along and you’re all over him!”

“Caleb, I told you that I’m pretending,” Eli retorted. “I’m doing this for my mother.”

“You expect me to believe that!” I huffed. “Well then, I’m done Eli. You deserve a fucking Oscar than because you’re performance was award-winning.”

Having said that, I stormed off back into the beach house, feeling fed up. I had had it with Eli’s games. I was sick and tired of it. He was playing the field and try to have me and James at the same time. It was obvious. I hope he enjoyed James because I was never getting in bed with him ever again. The first two times were a huge mistake – I was stupid. 

When I made it back to the beach house, I was so angry I even told off his mother. 

“You know what I hope you’re happy,” I growled. “I hope you’re fucking happy because you won like usual. Eli and I will never ever be getting back together– just in case you were wondering – which I know you were. Good night and good riddance.”

His mother was silent as I stormed upstairs into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I locked it- not wishing to be disturbed. I sat in my bed, pulling my bag of chocolates from the top drawer, and ate to my heart’s desire. When I’m upset, I eat, preferably chocolate. 

The very next day, I woke up to a knock on my bedroom door. I rolled out of bed to see Michelle and Michael at the door. Oh god, What had happened now? 

“Good morning,” they said in unison. 

“Why aren’t you packed?” Michelle asked. 

“Yeah Dad said that we’re leaving today,” Michael said in confusion.

 “Well he didn’t tell me but that’s because we are not speaking but I’ll pack right now,” I said without a second thought. It didn’t take me long to pack up. I was glad that I was leaving. I may have had to suffer through a car ride with Eli but I had been in tougher situations with him. I could survive a four hour ride back to my home. I shoved my clothes inside, showered and was dressed in an hour and a half. 

I rolled my suitcase down the steps, and out the door. I glanced around to see Eli’s parents and James were already gone. Thank the heavens. Maybe I successfully scared them off yesterday. 

Eli offered his help but I ignored him, shoving my bag into the trunk. Eli sighed as I moved into the passenger seat without a word. I slid my shades on, as we hit the road back towards home. 

I had a feeling that this was going to be a long ride. A few minutes on the highway and Eli was already trying to get me to talk to him. 

“Are you really not going to talk to me?” Eli asked glancing at me briefly. 

I remained quiet. I didn’t really want to argue with Eli anymore. I was tired and plus arguing in a car was never a good idea. None of us could walk away and I never back down – so I didn’t want to start that or else this would be a very uncomfortable for my kids. 

“Really Caleb? This is childish and you know it,” Eli continued. “Fine. If you won’t talk, then I guess you can just listen. I’m sorry about everything. After you walked away yesterday, it got me thinking and I cut everything off with James. Hence why he wasn’t here this morning – then after I did that, my mother jumped down my throat and I told her off too as nicely as I could.  I tried to be nice with James but it was hard after you yelled at me. But I wanted to let you know that I am still in love with you and if that doesn’t prove it, then I’ll gladly jump off a bridge screaming it out loud for the world to see.”

I glanced over at him, as a grin crept across his face. 

“You can’t swim,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at him. 

“I know,” he replied. After he said that, I punched him hard in the chest. He groaned rubbing his chest instantly. 

“Ow! What was that for?” he asked. 

“For being a stupid prick,” I snorted. “For all of the times you annoyed me and all of the times you did sexual things with James. For letting your mother get in between us and for telling me that you love me. I hate your mother. I hate James and I hate you . . . sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Eli asked raising an eyebrow. “Hmm . .  . Now, we’re getting somewhere. So, how do you feel about me when you don’t hate me?”

“When I don’t hate you, I tolerate you,” I retorted casually. 

“Ok, I guess I can live with that,” Eli shrugged shoving me lightly in the shoulder. “So, my insurance check for my house should be coming in soon – so I can still stay at your place right?”

“I guess,” I replied. “But as soon as you find a place – “

“I’m out I know,” Eli nodded. “But until then, can I ask you something?”

“What?” I replied. 

“Will you go on a date with me?” Eli asked his eyes fixating on mine for a brief second. Well that had caught me extremely off guard. A date? Shit. 

“A date?” I repeated like I didn’t know what the word meant. 

“Yeah a date – just the two of us – dinner, dancing? You know a romantic evening together,” Eli said. 

I blinked a few times, processing this in my head. A date with my ex-husband. That was extraordinarily new. I could only imagine the things that could go wrong. Why is that? Oh yeah I know – because we did this all before. 

“So . . . Don’t leave me hanging,” Eli chuckled awkwardly. “Yes or no?”

“Um – yeah I guess,” I replied. 

One date? I mean it’s just one date. How bad could it be?