Color Blind

She's Gone

"I'm sorry Miss Day. You are very qualified but we aren't able to take on any more employees at this time" Mr Brian says with a straight face.

"I understand Sir", I repeat the same words I've been saying for over a month now. "Thank you for your time."

"No, thank you. I wish you the best in your job search." His face is void of all emotion telling me he doesn't mean it.

My only reply is a nod as I turn to leave his office.

He could at least genuinely wish me well.

As I step out into the cold Manhattan evening air I can't help but feel bitter. I had graduated from New York university just over a month now, and from that time till now I was still unable to find a job. It's not like I didn't get good grades. I mean, I graduated at the top of my class.

I walk down the New York streets feeling nothing except utter disappointment. Professor Talon was definitely right when she said it was hard for a colored person to find a job.

"Rose, it's pretty hard for a black person to find a job in the legal industry. And fresh out of college too. Are you sure about this?", she had asked.

I had told her I was fighter and I could do it. Now I'm not so sure.

I was running out of options, I thought.

As I sit at the bus stop all my problems race across my mind.

My first student loan payment, my mom's medical bills, my electricity bill plus the obvious fact that I need to put food on the table.

My head feels like a thousand pounds.

I board the bus feeling helpless. I barely even recognized the sound of my own phone ringing.

"Hello?" I answer not even attempting to hide the depression in my voice.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine" I hear my best friend Alex tease.

I smile at the sound of her voice. I hadn't seen her since graduation and boy do I miss her.

"Hey Lexi, how's the cruise?"

"Unbelievable! I met the hottest guy last week when we went to carnival in Trinidad. I so wish you could've come. My little sister is a HUGE pain." I laugh at how excited she is.

"Tell your parents I said hello."

"Will do. So, how's your mom doing?" she asks cautiously.

All trace of laughter leaves my face.

"She's not good" is my only response.

"Oh my God, Rosie. I'm so sorry."

"It's OK, we'll be fine. I just need to find a job."

"So I'm guessing the job hunt isn't going well?" I can almost see her playing with her flawless blonde hair.

"No."

"Well Rosie, I could get my dad to ask some of his lawyer friends to give you-"

"No, that's OK." I cut her off. I smile at her generosity. She is honestly one of the nicest white people I have ever met. Don't get me wrong, I'm not racist or anything. I'm just used to being treated differently because of my skin color. Most people don't even care that I'm not fully black or white. I'm accepted by neither blacks nor whites cause I'm both. "I'll get a job as a waitress or something. You don't have to worry."

"Rosie..." She starts but doesn't argue further because she knows I'll never give in. "Okay, but if you need anything you just ask. You know you're family to us."