The Things You Did For Me

Chapter 5: SAYING GOODBYE

She didn't ride home with Alex that day; she left with John. Alex grimaced watching her climb into his car and speed off. John would be the death of her...if only she could see that.

Alex returned home to find his mother half passed out, an empty bottle of vodka in her lap. He tried to head to his room unnoticed, but the sudden movement caught her attention. She gazed at him hazily, staggering to her feet. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" she snarled. He tried to ignore her and continue on his way to his bedroom, but she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him backwards. "I asked you a question."

The smell of her misery consumed him, causing a pain to form in his gut. He kept his eyes trained on the floor. It was the only thing he could do to keep him from crashing down with her. She grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to face her. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." He swallowed hard, fighting the clenching tension rising in his throat. She was delirious. She could barely speak properly. This was what his father did to her. He pushed her over the edge, and she was barely hanging on. She was slipping...falling. No one could save her.

He could feel his heart breaking the second he looked into her eyes. There was a sadness about her that couldn't be changed. She was broken. It was too late for her. He reached for her, but she pulled away...a look of disgust grazing her face. "I hate you," she told him. He could have said the same to her. But a part of him was still holding on with her. He couldn't let go. He'd never let go.

She sent him one last glare and left for her room, the empty bottle of vodka in her hand. The sound of the door slamming echoed through him. She was lost...there was no one looking for her. Alex stood for a while peering at the door. It was the barrier between them. He couldn't break it down. He wasn't strong enough. So he left.

It was late at night when John and Norma finally arrived at their destination. Norma glanced out the window in confusion. It was an empty parking lot. She'd never been alone with John; there was always someone else around. It wasn't that she was afraid to be alone with him...she just had a bad feeling stirring inside her. She could feel herself becoming sick. She wanted to run, but there was nowhere to hide. "John, what's going on?"

He moved closer to her, sliding a hand up her thigh. "You own me this."

She pulled away from him. All she could think about was her brother. Tears started to well in her eyes...she couldn't trust anyone. "John—"

He sighed in annoyance, moving away from her. "God, Norma. You always do this. Why am I even going out with you?" He always did this to her. He pushed and pushed until she gave him what he wanted. That was the game he played.

She stared at him for a while, observing the anger ridden in his face. "I'm sorry," she muttered weakly. She moved closer to him. The light from the moon illuminated her, making her braver than before. All she wanted was someone to love her. John was her best bet.

He turned to face her, a little calmer than before. He placed a hand and her leg, kissing her softly. "I'm sorry." He really was a good guy...just a little mislead. He cared for her. He just didn't know what was best for her. He pulled her into his lap, continuing to kiss her.

She sent him an uncertain stare. She'd never done anything like this... willingly. He stared back at her, a smile grazing his face. "I love you," he whispered. She smiled back at him and gave him what he wanted.

Alex wandered about town for a few hours before he found himself outside Norma's bedroom window. He knocked faintly on the glass, hoping her parents wouldn't hear him. But she never came. He waited outside her window all night. He wasn't even sure if he fell asleep by the time the sun came up, but it didn't matter anyway. He was already mindless from his constant discontent.

He wandered back to his house hesitantly. A part of him wanted to never come back, but he had an obligation to his mother. He was the only reason for her to stay...even if it was killing her. He entered the house cautiously. He knew his father was already at work, but he wasn't ever sure what mood his mother would be in nowadays.

The faint sound of music played beneath the silence of the house. He followed it willingly to her bedroom door and peered through the opening she left him. He could see her slumped over on the bed. "Mom?"

The music swelled as he pushed the door open. It was her favorite song... "Everyday" by Buddy Holly. She liked to listen to it when she was sad. Said it made her feel better. He sat down on the bed beside her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Mom." She didn't answer him.

He glanced up at the mirror on her vanity. She had written a piece of scripture in red lipstick: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

He stared at the words for a while, reading it over and over. It seemed a little odd. His mother was losing her mind. Beside the mirror was a photograph from when they went to the lake. Alex was eight years old then. He smiled at the memory. It was before his father became the sheriff. It was before everything fell apart.

He moved over to the vanity and spotted the empty bottle of pills. His heart began to ache. He turned back to her, tears blurring his vision. "Mom?" He rushed over to her and shook her violently. But it was too late. She couldn't be saved. He fell to his knees beside the bed and wept for her. He loved her more than anything...and now he lost her. She was finally free. He gazed up at her and stroked the side of her cheek. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."