Please Forgive Me

Corinna: May 28th, 2013

The Diary of Corinna Lynn Parker, May 28th, 2013

I have to write this down because I can’t even believe that this happened.

It’s amazing.

It’s wonderful.

It’s unbelievable.

Harry and I actually had a heart to heart.  If you don’t see how momentous this is then I really can’t help you. Anyway, after I went up to unpack my non-existent boxes Harry appeared in my room sitting on my bed.

“Get out,” I grumbled laying back on the bed. “My room doesn’t need to smell like stupid boy band member.”

“You’re thinking about Celeste again aren’t you?” Harry asked. He had no appreciation for the rule I had made at the age of fourteen where we never spoke my sister’s name ever again.

“Shut up Harry.”

“Why does this girl remind you of Celeste?” I froze for a solid minute. Did all his time around screaming tweens finally give him insight into the female mind?

“She has a kid Harry. Celeste had a kid.”

“Celeste was GOING to have a kid Cori. “ I frowned at the nickname. “This girl isn’t Celeste.”

“Yeah. She didn’t die in a back alley abortion because she was too afraid to tell her parents that her loser boyfriend had knocked her up.”

“Harsh Cori.”

“It’s the truth Harry.” I pulled out the picture from my diary and showed it to him. “Look at her. She could be Celeste’s twin.” I smiled at the newborn baby in the picture. “I would have been a great aunt.”

“You would have. I know you would have.” I’m not sure who started the hug, but it felt right being in Harry’s arms. I don’t give him enough credit for how sweet he has been to let me join him and the lads for an entire year in London. “Want to come with us to the store?”

“We just went to the store.”

“Well Niall ate all the food again.”

“That kid has a tapeworm!”

An hour later I was wandering around the store with the boys. Or rather corralling the boys in the store when I found Liam hiding behind the ice cream case.

“Liam, I know I am going to regret asking this, but what the hell are you doing?” I asked shocking him. He must not have seen me approach him.

“Get back here where she can’t see you!” Liam hissed shoving me behind him. Being squeezed behind an ice cream case is not very comfy.

“Who will see us?”

“That girl! From the mall! And the house!” I peered over his shoulder to see her filling a cart with stuff while cooing at a little girl in a carseat.

“And the grocery store too apparently.  I’m not hiding back here,” I grumbled as I pulled free. She didn’t notice me, but she talked to the little girl. They looked so happy together. I got lost just smiling at the two of them.

“She’s not Celeste,” Harry whispered into my ear, and I sighed letting my shoulders fall. Harry calmly patted my back and led me out of the store. I know she wasn’t my sister, but I couldn’t help wishing she was.

If Celeste had just told our parents.

If they had just accepted her and the baby.

If she had just lived. Maybe then I would have a little niece or nephew in my life. And I would still have my sister. And I could say her name without crying.

And maybe Harry understood that more than I gave him credit for because the next morning the boys hauled me into the van and drove me to a small house in a residential neighborhood outside of London.

“Where are we?” I asked looking at the peaceful little home.

“We called the landlord,” Zayn said with a soft smile. “Found out the forwarding address for the girl who used to live at our place.”

“Is this it?” I asked as we all made our way out of the car.

“Harry said you wanted to meet her,” Louis grinned at his best friend. Harry ignored him focusing on me.

“I thought you might want to give her back her picture,” Harry said with a soft smile. He was right. I did. But more than that I wanted to meet the girl behind the picture. The girl who was one day frosty and then warm in the face of her small child. The girl who was living the life my sister might have had. “Remember she’s not Celeste.”

“I know,” I softly replied as we walked to the door. “I just want to say hello.” Liam knocked energetically on the door and another girl I didn’t recognize answered. “Um…hello…my name is Cor---“ I never got another word out. She started screeching and squealing the minute she saw the guys. I doubt she even realized that I was standing in the middle of them. She raced further into the house leaving the door wide open. We could hear her squealing.

“ALEX! ALEX! ONE DIRECTION IS HERE!” the girl screamed.  She took a breath which allowed us to hear Alex’s response.

“Who needs directions where?”