A Little Piece of Heaven - {Synyster Gates - Book 1} -

Chapter 14

We were sitting at the table enjoying the delicious food. Gena had borrowed Val and me some clothes until ours were dried. When we were upstairs away from the guys and waiting for Val to get ready she and I had a moment to talk. She was actually a really nice girl. I assured her that Zacky was just a friend and more like a brother than anything else which I think calmed her nerves quite a bit. At least she wasn’t glaring at me now that I was joking with her husband.

I was sitting between Brian and Ben devouring my second burger. Usually I was very focused on what I ate because I wasn’t one of those girls who could eat like a horse and never gain any weight. I was the total opposite. Put a piece of cake in front of my nose and I would have to work out for two months. It was a pain in the butt really but these burgers were heaven on earth.

“Good lord, someone’s hungry.” Johnny laughed and leaned back into his chair patting his full tummy.

“She is worse than Jimmy. Do you remember him eating like a pig all the time he got his hands on a burger or any other junk food?” Zacky laughed and everyone joined in. Everyone but Brian. Suddenly I felt him tensing up and he sat down his beer bottle that he was drinking from on the table rather harshly. I paused in my chewing when I saw him clutching the bottle so his knuckles went white. He was looking down onto his plate but he was focused onto something very different. His free hand balled into a fist and the tension that radiated from him made my heart race in concern.

What was wrong with him out of a sudden? We had all so much fun together but now he seemed to hate it all along. I swallowed the bite and carefully reached for his arm. When I touched it lightly he jumped a little.

“Brian, are you alright?” I had asked it very quietly because I had a feeling that he wouldn’t want anyone to focus on him when he was like that. But of course Ben, that complete and utter insensitive moron, had to notice.

“Hey man, what’s wrong?” I rolled my eyes and was about to say something when Brian shoved his chair backwards and stormed into the house. Matt immediately followed him with a worried expression on his face.

Suddenly the whole group was dead silent. No one was laughing or talking, not even eating. It seemed like everyone had been drained off all happiness and a dark shadow probably coming from the past pulled them into its cold embrace.

I was confused to say the least. What could have possibly happened that left this group full of wonderful people so devastated? Since I’ve been there and around them they have never seemed so depressive and sad. Sure, everyone was sad at some point; for example Zacky, when he found out that I was grounded and we couldn’t see each other anymore. But this now was a different kind of sadness. A sadness that rooted deeper in their hearts. It seemed like they had lost a very essential part of themselves. But I couldn’t put a finger on it would it could have been.

Deep in their own thoughts no one noticed Matt coming back to the table. I was the only one turning around to see him sitting down with a heavy sigh. His eyes looked so sad and hurt that I wondered what Brian could have said to him. Was he even still here? Something inside me told me to go and look for him, that he needed someone from the outside. So I wiped my hands and mouth with my napkin before I stood and walked towards the French doors.

“Katie?” I heard Matt’s voice calling me. My head snapped towards him and he gave me a small nod.

“Front porch.” So he knew I was going to see Brian? Weird, but all I did was nod once and disappear in the house.

I had no idea what I was going to see or what I was going to go against. But I knew that it had something to do with the demons Brian promised me to fight. I was pretty sure that whatever was said at the table that made him upset had thrown him way back into the depressive darkness and now he needed someone who understood what he was going through.

Not sure if he wanted to see me, or anyone for this matter, I carefully opened the front door of Zacky’s house and stepped out on the front porch.

He was sitting on the wooden banister leaning against the pillar on the far left side of the porch. He had finished off three cigarettes which butts lay on the wooden ground. His hands were playing with a zippo lighter, twirling it around. I slowly walked up to him and paused as he lifted his head to look at his new company. I actually expected him to shoo me away rudely with a death glare but instead I seemed sort of relieved that it was me. His eyes were dark and full of pain and sadness that I had the urge to hug him tightly to let him know that he wasn’t alone. But instead I did what he had done when I was like this a couple of weeks back: I sat with him. I flipped the butts away with my foot and sat on the wooden panels with my back against the banister he was sitting on.

We didn’t say a word. It wasn’t even necessary. I still didn’t know what had caused all this but I was the last person to press on that subject. He or the others would tell me eventually. I was sure of that because it was obvious that they welcomed me to their family. We slowly became friends, heck Zacky was even my brother already, so it was just a matter of time until I found out all about it. Time that we had plenty of.

It was actually really nice to not focus on my own nightmares and problems for this time. I felt bad that I dragged Brian into my own mess anyways. He obviously had enough on his own plate but he was still there for me. It made me incredibly happy that he did that for me. I felt comfortable around him, even if I was nervous with all those butterflies in my stomach and my heart racing hundreds of miles a minute. Although it was quite an outrage to feel that way after all that had happened but I somehow enjoyed it. It most certainly sounded ridiculous considering that I hadn’t called him once after that day in the studio. That was why I didn’t know if he really wanted to talk to me. Ha, I even didn’t know what to say at all, which was quite a surprise for me. But I hadn’t felt such feelings towards anyone at all before for that matter.

Suddenly I felt fingers lightly brushing through my hair. Snapping out of my thoughts I looked up and saw him staring into space but his right arm was hanging loosely down his side. I turned back and played with my shoe laces when I felt his fingers again playing with some strands of my hair. It made me smile that he was doing it. And it felt nice. I actually loved it that he was doing it, he was seeking closeness to me which let the butterflies in my stomach go crazy again.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the banister he was sitting on and enjoyed his light and playful touch.  Unconsciously I lifted my arm and started to caress his forearm lightly which brought his fingers to let go of my hair and focus on my bare skin too. His touch left a tingling feeling on my skin and sent shivers down my spine.

After a while he sighed and I felt his lips on the top of my hand. My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head to see him looking at me with a really light smile on his lips. Although it didn’t reach his eyes that were still full of sadness it was a sign that he was going to be ok. I dearly hoped that he would anyway because as much as I wanted to stay with him until all of this was over I couldn’t. Eventually I would have to go home to Elly. With my hand still in his I stood and brushed off the bottom of Gena’s shorts.

“Thank you.” He said quietly and kissed the top of my hand again. I smiled softly and cupped his left cheek with my free hand.

“No need for that. I’ll be there, whenever and wherever you need me.” I replied just as quietly. His eyes never leaving mine he slipped off the banister and pulled me into a tight hug, but he still held onto my hand.

Being so close to him was the most wonderful thing I could have ever imagined. His scent was so intoxicating and the warmth of his body felt so comforting. With my cheek against his chest I could hear his steady heartbeat that was a little quicker than usual but I assumed it was just because of the sadness and the shadows that he was fighting for the sake of our deal.

***

Moments later Zacky had come out of his house and saw us still standing in our embrace. The sun had been nearly set and the chirping of crickets had been filling the warm air. It had been really hard to let go of Brian this time. But when we had finally found the strength to do so everyone had called it a night and I had changed back into my clothes. Brian left parallel to me but when Zacky was driving me home that evening I felt like I had left a huge part of me with Brian. I only hoped that this part of me was protecting him because I had a bad feeling about him being alone in his house that night. I didn’t know why but I needed him to survive it; because it would be the last time that he would have to face his demons alone.