Hidden Feelings (a jeongcheol fanfic)

Chapter 4

Hey guys! Just a short note before the chapter, this is happens about one month from the previous chapter, which means that Seungcheol and Jeonghan have gotten slightly closer! The timeline for my story is kind of messed up oops Also I'm updating earlier than expected because I just can't stop writing heh :> Enjoy (;A;)
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After the test and the extremely dry Chemistry lesson, everyone in class rushed for lunch. Jeonghan took his time with packing his bag, he never ate school food anyway. He was planning to go to the art room, he wanted to add another painting to his portfolio before the year ended. He suddenly felt a few pats on the back.

"Hey! Let's go for lunch together, if that's ok with you? I don't have practice." That voice was like music to his ears. Seungcheol. He hated the cafeteria, but his offer was so tempting. He eventually turned around and shook his head, he really could not stand the people and the noise.

"I normally pack my own food and eat in the art room," He mumbled, standing up and slinging his bag across his shoulders. Seungcheol sighed, but he wasn't one to give up that easily.

"Alright, I'll pack my food and eat with you in the art room!" Jeonghan had no choice but to agree, this boy was persistent.

"See you!" Seungcheol chuckled as he ran to the cafeteria to get his lunch. He sighed, he was never going to be able to focus on his painting with Seungcheol around him. He brisk walked to the art room, hoping to get as much done before Seungcheol arrived with his food. He decided not to do an oil painting, working with the oils and turpentine was too troublesome, acrylics sounded better. Jeonghan picked up his brush and begun painting, stroke by stroke.

"Hey! Oh... Am I disturbing you?" Seungcheol burst in, but realised that Jeonghan was concentrating on his painting. He shot him an apologetic smile and hid behind the door.

"It's ok, you can come in," Jeonghan barely stuttered out, evidently surprised by his sudden arrival. Seungcheol made himself comfortable, dragging another stool from the room right next to Jeonghan. He stared intently the painting, intrigued.

"It's just a work in progress, nothing much," He didn't know if Seungcheol was impressed by the painting, or just absolutely judging it.
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Seungcheol couldn't help but marvel at this work of art. How could someone be that talented and incredibly charming? The painting showed two hands clasped together, as if they didn't want to let go. That could be us. He opened the takeaway box and began munching away on the pickled radishes, those were his favourite.

"Don't you ever eat school food? It's pretty good!" Seungcheol tended to talk while he chewed, which was a pretty bad habit. Jeonghan shook his head.

"The cafeteria is really packed with people, I'm not good around people," He murmured. Seungcheol nodded his head, but continued to chew hungrily at his food. He didn't really take notice of what Jeonghan said, gesturing at him to continue painting.

"Am I disrupting your karma?" He joked. Jeonghan shook his head fervently, insisting that Seungcheol could stay to watch. He flicked his wrists with much skill, and with each stroke of the brush, the painting began to take snap, from a simple pencil sketch to a picturesque painting. Seungcheol inched toward Jeonghan, getting a clearer view of his face of concentration as he made magic with his left hand.

He grabbed Jeonghan's master hand, and said to his ear, teach me how to paint like that. Jeonghan was scared stiff, but Seungcheol was enjoying it. He craved this type of skinship between the both of them. It was weird, but it came naturally. He always craved to be near him, be it during lessons, lunch break or soccer practice. He clutched his hand and whispered, we could be like that painting.
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Jeonghan froze. When Seungcheol clutched his hand, it all came rushing back, all the bad memories came rushing back.
'His dad stumbled home, drunk, as always. Jeonghan ran to the back of his room. His hyung followed him in, and closed the door behind him. It was a bad night, they could already tell. They were always scared of him when he was drunk, when he was intoxicated and he couldn't think straight. His heavy footsteps got closer and closer, and finally he knocked the door down. I know you're there, don't have to hide.

His hyung clamped his hand over Jeonghan's mouth, just in time for him to stop him from screaming at the top of his lungs. But he knew that they were there. He walked over, a sly smile plastered over his face. He grabbed Jeonghan's hand and hauled him up, not giving his hyung enough to time to stop him. He clutched his small hand so tight, he thought it would have cut off the blood circulation.

His father raised his hand to the sky and Jeonghan braced himself, he knew well what was coming. He tried to keep his cries out, but he was only eight, and the tears fell like a waterfall.'

He'd managed to hide these memories for so many years, who was Seungcheol to just come and hold his hand and bring it all back? He felt the tears well in his eyes, just like when he was eight. He leaned his head back and tried to keep them in, but Seungcheol already sensed something wrong. He back away, as if he were guilty of committing a crime.

"I'm so sorry! Did I... hurt you?" Seungcheol stammered, as if afraid his words would pierce Jeonghan like daggers. His tears couldn't be stopped, the scene replayed in his mind like a cassette tape on repeat. His tears turned into sobs, but he didn't blame Seungcheol, really.

He took two steps toward Seungcheol and hugged him, tight. Maybe he'd protect me from nightmares. He nuzzled his face into the other boy, since he was slightly taller.
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Seungcheol could see his tears welling up, he knew he had triggered something, but he didn't know what.

"I'm so sorry! Did I... hurt you?" He didn't mean it, really. Jeonghan began sobbing, and he was at a loss. He never knew what to do in these nerve-wrecking situations. But the other boy shook his head, and took two steps towards Seungcheol. He put his two hands around his waist and nuzzled his nose down into his collarbone. His shoulders bopped up and down as he continued to cry, failing at trying to calm his emotions.

Seungcheol froze, he liked skinship, but Jeonghan taking initiative was something entirely new to him. He warmed up against Jeonghan and put his left hand around his waist and the right behind his head. He stroked his hair slowly, trying to do the boy from crying. He didn't know what made him cry, but prying too deep was dangerous.

"Jeonghannie, you better now?" He asked, concern written all over his face. The younger boy looked up and nodded, sniffling back his last few tears. He went back to his easel and continued painting. Seungcheol wanted to ask what had just happened but afraid the curiosity would kill the cat, kill this peaceful moment just between them, away from the noisy lunch crowds.

He watched Jeonghan paint, mesmerised time and again. He just couldn't get enough. He couldn't seem to understand why Jeonghan made him feel this way, but he just did.

He glanced at his watch, it was five minutes to the next lesson, and it took quite a while to get to the next classroom.

"Hey! Is it your free period next? I have Literature after this, so I'll make a move first?" Seungcheol tapped his shoulders lightly, afraid of scaring him again.

Jeonghan shook his head, I have Physical Education next. He waved to him, picked up his sling bag and jogged to his locker to change into his gym wear before his lesson started. Seungcheol looked at his wide back, he must be good at sports.
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Hope you guys enjoyed this early chapter, I'm pretty proud of myself for writing in the midst of a busy period! As usual, do point out any grammar or spelling mistakes, I'd appreciate it. Also, I want to dedicate this chapter to @aruuemu for being a lovely reader :>

find me on tumblr: im-jaebe0m.tumblr.com (it's a zero, not an O!)

Next update: 3-4 days!

-celeste