6+4=Ten

Number 67

Make me powerful

"I now understand why they make us face our fears, and re-live, over and over and over again. It's because they hope that if we ever encounter our fear in the real world, that we'll be able to keep moving, and not break down."

I look at all the initiates gathered in the fear simulation room, I catch my breath after a long speech, and before I can continue, Tobias says, "You will watch Tris, I mean coach Tris, go through a fear landscape. It will show all of her deepest fears."

I go to sit in the chair, and all the initiates watch in awe. As Tobias comes closer, I see the orange filled syringe, and I'm worried about what might appear. "You don't have to do this," he says quietly, only to me. "You still aren't well Tris, you know that."

I do know that, a few days ago Al, my attacker, struck again. He nearly raped me, and he ruined the friendship I thought we had. I have bruises going up my wrist from his hold, and little cuts on my waist from his fingers digging in.

"I'll be fine," I lie. I honestly want to know what I'm the most scared of right now, and the only way I know I'll get through it is if I have to.

>>

I find myself on a grassy plain, fire spreading around me, and crows forming an arrow like shape, ready to surround me. Gun, I need a gun. A cold, metal object appears in my hand and I smile. A gun. My aim is still terrible, so when I shoot I only hit about twelve. But still, my heart rate was slowed, and I can feel the scene moving.

I appear in a cold damp basement, with a metal door, that's locked. I'm trapped. I look in the corner, and I see Al approaching me, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

"No," I say. More to myself then him. "You will stay away from me. You. Will. Not. Touch. Me."

He continues to walk towards me, so you gonna play it like that? My leg whips out and kicks at his side, he grabs my foot, and pushes me to the floor.

"We have unfinished business Tris," he says, he licks his lips like a hungry lion stalking a wounded gazelle. Fear finally kicks in, but instead of it becoming a weapon against me, I use it as a weapon towards him.

"You're right we do," I kick him in balls, and push myself up. "Stay the fuck out of my life." The whole world starts to shake, and I smile, the second part is over.

I now end up in a jail cell, my family and friends in front of me. "Tris," Tobias cries, he grips the bars of the cell. What is going on? "Why? Why did you have to take the blame for Eric's death!" I stagger back, and gasp. What is going on?

"It was. . .it was pretty much a suicide! I, he, what?" Peter steps forward, a gun in his hand, "You did this! You killed Eric Tris." Peter hisses at me, and points the gun my way.

"Shoot me," I say, knowing this isn't real, knowing that whatever happens in here will never happen out there. "I dare you."
And he does.

As the bullet thrashes into my leg, my body is flung against a rock, and salty water appears in my mouth.

Waves repeatedly crash over me, making it impossible to breathe. I have to gain control. So when the next wave comes I push up, and grab onto the rock that has my blood stained upon it.
No more.

As my hand grapples the rock, I'm suddenly in the air, falling. I can see the landscape bellow, and I realize I'm about two metres up, and that in about two seconds I'll be a pancake.

Uhh, I close my eyes, and invision myself flying, up into the sky, my hands separating the clouds, and suddenly I'm there. But only for a couple of seconds.

Suddenly, my wrists are restrained, and I'm chained to a chair. In front of me, Eric holds a gun, pressed against Tobias' head. No, no this isn't happening.

I see my initiates all staring at Tobias, at Eric, at me. "What," my eyes scan over everyone. "Is going on?"

"It's time you pay Tris," Eric speaks, his voice menacing, "Your husband has about thirty seconds to live. You will watch the blood drain from his stomach, and watch him writhe in pain before the light takes over him, while knowing you are completely powerless to the situation."

"Please no," I sob, and I am nearly positive this is now real. "Please, don't kill him, kill me!"