Chapter 15

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Realising that you only have moments left to live, mere seconds before you lose your fight for life is an indescribable experience. Adding to that the fact that you are about to be murdered by a person you loved and trusted has to be the most painful and terrifying realisation of my life so far.

My desperation was at it's peak, I wished with every ounce of my being to be back in my own reality, safe from Clara, away from this dark place. I opened my eyes, my vision was distorted but I was unsure if it was because I was dying or if it was something else altogether.

Then strangely I felt something in me, a little fight left, something pushing me not to give up. It was then I acknowledged that I was losing my perception of what was and wasn't real. In one moment I could see Clara's hateful, black eyes burning into my own. I could feel her icy fingers choking the life out of me and yet in the next I'd see a flicker of something else, someone else, somewhere else.

It was as though I was bouncing between two separate and yet intrinsically connected....'worlds'?
I wished harder to be back in my own reality and as I did I saw less of Clara and more of the flicker that had teased me before.

I realised it was Jake I was seeing, his face made me fight harder, forced me to hold on for longer. Jake and Clara flickered erratically before my eyes, for a moment it was Clara, for a split second it was Jake. He was yelling, his face overcome with panic. Then back to Clara, teeth clenched, squeezing so hard. Back to Jake, yelling words I couldn't hear but wanted to so desperately.

My chest was on fire, it was going to explode, I needed to breathe more than I'd ever needed to do anything in my life. Then, reality hit me like a sledgehammer to the head. Clara was gone and I was back in the house, coughing and spluttering.

I keeled over onto my knees, sucking in a gigantic gulp of oxygen. I was greedy, I took too much too soon and before I knew it I was heaving. Bile rose up into my throat as I emptied the minor contents of my stomach onto the floor. Jake had one hand on my back and held my arm with the other, supporting my weight as I was unable to do so alone.

He was still yelling words but all I heard was indistinguishable sound, I was too shaken to focus on what he was saying. My throat stung from the vomit, I was exhausted and everything seemed to hurt.

I toppled over onto my back again, every ounce of my body ringing with pain. My head thudded as the blood rushed back to my oxygen deprived brain.

"Alice stay with me, please don't go,"

Those were the words I finally heard before everything went black and I lost consciousness.

***

I refused to sleep for the next two days. Sure that if I did Clara would find me and kill me. I focused on my school work, trying to catch up on some of what I'd missed while overdosing on caffeine and ignoring Jake's unrelenting phone calls and texts.

I was utterly exhausted, verging on psychotic, resorting to caffeine pills to keep me awake. I looked awful, dark circles resided beneath my sallow eyes and I was sure I'd aged ten years in two weeks judging by my grey skin.

But the day had come for me to finally face my destiny. To enter the mouth of hell and confront the evil monsters within. Yes, my two week suspension was over and it was time for me to return to school.

With a heavy application of concealer I managed to convince Angela that I was okay to go back. I needed to, if I didn't return to some sort of normality my own thoughts were sure to drive me insane.

A few weeks ago I'd have been too afraid to go back, to face Carly and her cronies. But after what I'd seen there was nothing they could do that would scare me in comparison. Angela drove me to school, I was grateful, unsure if I had the physical energy to walk there,

"I'm not working today so I'll pick you up after school," Angela offered as she pulled into a vacant parking space.

"I can walk," I insisted, not wanting to be a burden to her, I knew she slept a lot on her days off.

"Are you sure?" She asked, I nodded and kissed her upon the cheek.

I clambered out of the car and waved, watching her leave with obvious reluctance. Turning slowly to the three story brick hell hole before me I inhaled deeply. I contemplated not going inside, skipping school and hiding somewhere where nobody alive or dead could find me.

But my contemplation subsided as I reminded myself of my need for normality, I had to go back. There were only a few months left of school and I'd already been accepted into several good Universities, that was if I managed by some miracle to keep my grades up. I'd always been pretty good at school, I'd had little in my life to distract me otherwise. Oh how that had changed.

I started forward with the expectation of being engulfed by crowds of inquisitive eyes. Scanning me just as they had when Clara had died and I'd first returned to school. Instead I felt like a ghost as I wound my way through the crowded hallway, nobody looked at me and there were no hushed whispers. It seemed I was no longer the hot topic of conversation, the High school gossip reel had moved on which brought me an immediate sense of relief.

I reached my locker and began loading and unloading the books I needed for the day. I paused as I went to close it, placing my hand tenderly on the collage of photographs littering the inside of my locker door. Clara was everywhere, my best friend who I had so devastatingly lost and whose vengeful spirit now wanted me dead.

I slammed the door shut and gasped as Jake stood before me, leant casually against the lockers, he bit his lower lip in contemplation. I said nothing and started forward again, he followed as I knew he would.

When he had the chance he pulled me into an empty doorway. I yanked my arm away, infuriated by his persistence. Surely ignoring his phone calls and texts the past two days would have made it clear that I did NOT want to talk to him, not now and not ever. That wasn't entirely true but it was what I was telling myself.

"Leave me alone Jake, we are not friends and I have nothing to say to you," I stated, as firmly as I could.

I tried to leave but he stood in my way, frustrating me further,

"Alice what the hell happened to you at the house, I need you to explain," he insisted, his eyes searching for something in my own, a softness I refused to give.

"It doesn't matter Jake, this has all been a huge mistake. Whatever happened between us, it was stupid, " I responded, I'd convinced myself of that too, even if it hadn't felt like a mistake.

"I don't believe that and I know you don't either, something happened to you and it's scared you but-"

"No that's not it-" I lied, "there's nothing between us Jake, we both loved Clara and we got that mixed up with each other...that's all it was."

Jake shook his head, he put his hand to my face, I wanted so desperately to let myself fall into him but I knew I couldn't. I was too afraid of the consequences. That I'd never want to let go. I couldn't risk that.

"I want you to leave me alone," I stated, pushing his hand forcefully away.

"I won't," he countered.

"Then I'll call the police," I responded, "I mean it Jake, you come near me again and I'll call the police and tell them you're harassing me."

I pushed by him then before the tears in my eyes exposed my true feelings. I swallowed hard, trying to push the lump in my throat away. I was unable to shake the image I'd seen of the hurt in Jake's eyes away, that hurt me more than I could have imagined.

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