Project Fat Suit

One: Physics and Clowns

"I don't care," I said getting more peeved. "Just remember to get Lucky Charms."

"You can drive my car." Kurt waved his keys in front of my face.

I stared at him in disbelief. "You're letting me take Shelly?!"

"She"s all yours." He threw his keys into my lap and gave me a smile.

I instantly ran out of the house and into my brother's car. The car itself wasn't anything special, but I haven't driven since I got my license, which was almost a year ago.

I quickly started the car and my way to the local grocery store. There was a reason Kurt never let me drove. Well, one because he couldn't be seen with a girl driving, but the other reason is that the driver gets to choose the music for the ride. I only listened to classical music.

"Turn your crappy music down!" the passenger of the car next to me shouted at me once I stopped at the red traffic light.

I glared at him for a second, but turned it down anyways. It's not my fault not everyone can appreciate Fur Elise for the beautiful piece of art it is.

After about ten minutes of humming along to my classical music, I stepped into the grocery store, which strangely always smelled like turkeys, which was odd because they didn't sell turkey.

At the end of my shopping trip, I did end up grabbing five boxes of cereal. I couldn't choose which one to get.

"Stocking up for bomb shelter?" the cashier asked jokingly as he rang me up.

I eyed him warily, not amused, that is, until I recognized him. He went to my school! Crap, crap, crap. What if he remembers me?! I wasn't wearing my fat suit!

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?!

"Mute, are we?" he looked at me.

I ignored him and looked the other way, hoping that we wouldn't recognize me.

"Do you have a discount card?" he asked, no longer attempting to start another conversation.

I nodded in response and took out my wallet, keeping my head low.

"MOMMY, I WANT A KIT KAT BAR! COME BACK! I WANT A KIT KAT BAR!" some kid screeched at the top of his lungs while pushing me aside.

The force of his push caused me to ram into the checkout stand and lose my grip on my wallet, which landed near the cashier's foot.

Crap.

Please don't look. Please don't look.

"Here's your," he stopped talking and took a look at what I assumed was my driver's license. "Serena Davidson?" he said in disbelief as he looked at me.

Well, I had two options at this point. I could run, which would ultimately end up with me collapsing out of exhaustion after ten steps. Or, I could lie like there's no tomorrow.

"Excuse me?" I feigned a look of confusion. "Oh, I must have taken Serena's wallet by mistake. She's going to kill me." That's exactly what I'm going to do if I don't get out of this one. "Do you know her?" I continued with my facade. "She gained a lot of weight since that picture was taken."

The cashier analyzed me before he said, "You look a lot like her. Actually, you look exactly like her without all the weight."

"Yeah, we're twin sisters," I said matter-of-factly.

"Cut the act, Davidson. I know it's you. How'd you do it? Liposuction?"

"Pardon?" I exclaimed as offended as I could. "Yes, I am a Davidson, but I have never had liposuction in my life."

"Look, I have other customers waiting." He sighed, still not believing me. "But, we're not done with this." He handed me back my wallet.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tried again.

"Whatever," he said as I gave him the money. "You're change is $2.89. Thank you. Come again."

"Not likely," I muttered before taking my receipt to double check everything. I didn't trust this guy at all.

:::X:::O:::X:::

He wasn't kidding when he said we weren't done.

"How did you do it?" I looked up from my food.

"What are you talking about?" I played dumb.

"Don't act as if you don't know."

"You realize that if I sit on you, you could die, right, loser?" I glared at him viciously. "Now get away from my table."

"You weigh like a hundred pounds. That's hardly a threat." He sat down across from me.

Why won't he give up?!

"Are you drunk?" I asked bluntly, trying to disguise any look of worry on my face.

"No, but I'm not stupid either. How could have I missed it before? You don't jiggle when you walk and you don't have chubby fingers." It seemed as though he was talking more to himself than to me.

"Excuse me?"

"Here's the deal, Davidson. I won't tell if you do me a favor."

"Leave me alone!" I shouted at him, causing some students to stare.

"Alright, you leave me with no choice." He stood up from the table. "Hey, Bob!" he called "I have a secret I have to tell you!"

"Okay!" I jumped up from my seat and clamped my hand around his mouth. "Sit," I commanded while giving his shoulders a firm push downwards.

"So you're admitting it?"

"Yes," I muttered under my breath, feeling defeated. "What will it take for you to keep your trapper shut?"

"You're doing all my Spanish homework."

"I don't even take Spanish!" I exclaimed angrily, ready to kill this guy.

He laughed at me. "You should see your face right now. I'm expecting to see smoke come out of your ears."

The day we graduate . . .

"I'm kidding." I sighed out of relief. "You're going to do my physics homework for the rest of the year."

"Fine," I grudgingly agreed. "But you can't tell anyone."

"I'm not done yet."

"What?" My patience was running very, very thin.

"You're going to be the clown at my brother's birthday. No pay." He grinned cheekily before he stood up and stalked away. "Oh," he stopped and faced me once more. "Don't forget your red nose."

EDIT: for some reason, wattpad turned all of the quotation marks to a's so I edited.