I Want Him Back...

I Want Him Back... - Part 11

[Okay, I know. LONG break. But I couldn't help it. I am very stressed at the moment so be forgiving. It's not amazingly long but I think I should be forgiven as it tells you what Keith is. Pwease don't damage me! As always, comments and votes are welcomed and appreciated.^_^ Read and enjoy!]

Maggie shut the door to her room, breathing a sigh of relief. Belinda had dropped it, just like she had hoped, leaving her free from any guilt. It was a tricky situation but Maggie just couldn't let Emma get away with picking on Belinda. It was fair to warn Belinda, it must be! It wouldn't change anything in the grand scheme of things, would it? she thought worriedly, her eyes flickering to the kitchen door before she closed them briefly.

Belinda was chopping vegetables, working slowly but stolidly through the carrots. She didn't help with dinner often but she tried all the time. Today, Gina had left a set of instructions on top of a pile of carrots, potatoes and a bag of peas. It wasn't easy for her, and she didn't enjoy it, but cooking helped both Gina and Maggie and it didn't always go wrong.

She could hear Maggie in the living room, watching some lame cartoon. She shook her head and smiled as she finished cutting the carrots, dropping them into the water and turning on the stove. Dusting her hands off and opening the door, she looked for Maggie immediately. It really had become a reflex, caring for the kid, demanding much time and energy but Belinda didn't mind.

Maggie was evidently fast asleep, her face blank and smooth. Belinda shook her head again and closed the door quietly behind her, letting her own thoughts wash over her properly. Everything was happening too fast. The world just kept turning, spinning her into confusion and pain. She needed to help Keith but she didn't know how, wanted to recapture his smile but couldn't do anything but hurt him. Maybe she should talk to Jack about it. He would understand what was happening to her, would help her through it - step by baby-step.

She hadn't even realised she was reaching for her bag until she had the diary in her hands and was flipping back to the last page she was on. She looked down at it in amazement before hurling herself back into the miniature world at her fingers. She couldn't help but dive into the world that was so absurdly ordinary to her now.

'Dear diary,

Joseph has finally deemed me worthy of knowing his secret. I'm so excited, though he insists that we must meet later to discuss it. I'm terribly torn as to whether I listen to him and meet with him, or if Father will be to angry once he discovers me missing. He has become so horrible towards me, his temper rarely abated by his success at work. It's been horrendous living with him, almost as though he's a new person! I shall write again later to tell you whether I decided to meet with Joseph.'

Belinda was turning to the next page when something crashed in the living room. Dumping the book on the counter, she ran towards the sound, calling out to Maggie as she went. The first thing she saw was that Maggie was blinking sleepily, looking up at Belinda. The second thing she saw - well, felt really as she stood on it - was the broken vase at the end of the sofa.

Hopping away from the sharp shards of pottery, Belinda tried her best not to curse aloud. Several 'naughty' words were exploding through her mind but, thankfully, she apparently had more self restraint than she had thought. After several minutes of hopping, she made it into the kitchen to stop her blood ruining the carpet.

"Oh, God, Belinda," Maggie cried, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sorry, I don't know how it happened! I-I-"

"Chill out Mags, it's fine. It's just a little blood. It's not even that bad. Honest."

Belinda carried on hushing Maggie, calming her whilst cleaning up her foot. It was worse than she had thought to start with, but it still wasn't as bad as Maggie thought it was. Gina came in about halfway through and helped finish the food and put plasters on her foot. It doesn't take as long once someone knows what they're doing, Belinda thought absently.

It wasn't for another few hours that Belinda realised she hadn't read the next instalment of the diary and she felt that urgency biting into her again. Saying 'goodnight' to Maggie and Gina, she rushed through getting ready for bed. She was desperate to know what the secret was, was thirsting for the information like someone lost in a desert looking for water. She needed to know. She felt the relief at finally sitting down and settling into the book.

'Dear Diary,

I decided to go to speak with Joseph. I know it's unsafe to meet with a young gentleman without an escort but...I was DESPERATE to know his secret. I have known him so long, it seems unnatural that I did not know everything about him. And yet this...this completely threw me and I no longer know what is and isn't natural. I am ashamed to say that I was not a lady and lost control of my actions. I think the least said about my reaction, the better and that it would be unreasonable for anyone to receive such information and not react. Indeed, it was unwise to scream but honestly, he couldn't expect the news of him being of Wiccan faith to be regarded as GOOD. Maybe I can apologise for my outburst tomorrow, once I have recovered from the shock.'

Belinda lay back as she thought hard. Wiccan...wasn't that a witch thing? Surely, she couldn't have really believed that Joseph was a witch! First of all, he was a guy! Secondly, there was no such thing as witches!...was there? Belinda let her mind run over everything she knew about witches and history. Sure, it was always a hot topic when talking in class about Victorians or, or, whoever the hell it was that burned them at stakes but...wasn't it really just a bunch of crazy people who tried to change their lives in crazy ways??

Agitated as she was, she couldn't help but fall asleep, her mind slowing from the insane running into a sluggish crawl. She could feel her brain slipping into a dreamy state, her mind relaxing and expanding. Even as she tried to stop the thought, she imagined Keith laying down next to her, holding her tight against his chest. She could almost feel his warmth, his heartbeat thudding a steady rhythm for her.

It felt so real, so safe that Belinda couldn't help the tears washing down her cheeks. They were happy tears tinged with longing. She knew it was wrong to think of him like this but she couldn't help what her mind did when she was trying to sleep, what it made her feel. She almost didn't want anything but the sweet safety that came with his nearness - almost. More than the safety though, she wanted the insanity his kisses brought her with an intensity that should be crossing a line.

Maggie sat with her mother, wondering how on earth she would explain all of this to her. She hadn't meant to lose control - it had never happened before! She knew how dangerous it was, for her and Gina, even for Belinda! But maybe it was time to tell Belinda, to let her know what was going on.

"Look, mum, I swear she doesn't know what's going on," Maggie pleaded. "I just think that she might be ready to know. She's gotten a lot better, and she-"

Maggie broke off, biting her lip in worry. She didn't really want her mother to know that she had sent Belinda a vision. It would end in an argument and she was unlikely to win. But she had already said too much, and Gina was quick with things like this. Maggie gave it a moments thought before arriving at the conclusion that the only thing she could do was put it in the best light possible.

"Okay, don't freak mum, please..."