Rant Time

What My Mom Thinks of My Crush

My crush and I have been friends since we were little kids. I remember the first time I saw him. It was in like, 2004 or 2005. But I remember. Very well.
He had came into my house with I guess his grandma and aunt (who now has a beautiful little boy. He's perfect). His sister is almost eleven, but I remember she was in a stroller, only about a year old then.
He was wandering about my house, touching stuff that wasn't his and stuff. But I watched him, and he eventually came up to me.
He was my first "real friend", but now we are just barely friends, because I don't see him often. I'd met Justine (I-am-insane) and she is my best friend, forever. (You'll always be my best friend in the entire world, no matter what happens, Justine. <3)
Anyway, my crush and I grew up, went from being kids playing on the playground to two teenagers who may have crushes on each other but are too afraid to admit it.
Here's what my mom thinks of him.
She's always liked him because he's incredibly cute (or handsome, as she says), very intelligent, and very very sweet. He really is, that's why I like him so much.
She always calls him my boyfriend because she knows I have a major crush on him, and every time she sees him, she nudges me and gives me a wink.
I'm like, "Stop spilling my secret!"
Apparently she sees a future with me and him together. She wants me to go on a date with him, and so does his mom, but we are both too afraid to make a first move, so we're stuck.
He may like another girl, but I'm not so sure anymore, judging by the way he smiles and blushes when he sees me. Mixed signals suck.
My mom says that we would make cute babies together. I was like, :O "Mom!" Then I started laughing. Is she trying to pimp me out or something?
She said it's because he's dark (He's of Mexican descent) and I'm kind of tan, depending on when you see me. (I'm of Spanish descent.) We both are bilingual, we speak both English and Spanish. I actually taught him English, and he's teaching me Spanish each time he talks.
I have natural, subtle blonde highlights in my hair that change through the year. He has naturally dark hair. We both have dark brown eyes, though I think his are a bit darker. He's tall, about five foot eight, I'm five foot two. (Almost.) I'm small compared to him.
That's why my mom wants us to get together, get married, and have babies. She think they'll be adorable. (Not with my features. I'm very insecure.)
I'm like, "Woah! I've never even been kissed yet! We're only 14! We are not exactly Romeo and Juliet."
Don't get ahead of yourself, Mother. He's sending out mixed signals right now. I'm not sure if he likes me or the other girl yet. If he does like me, still, do not get your hopes up. We are only teens!
Here's my philosophy about mixed signals:
If you like me, say it!
If you don't like me, say it!
If you like another girl, say it.
If you just wanna be friends, say it!
If you want to kiss me, do it!
I'm just as shy as you, trust me. I don't know how to kiss, I barely know how to hug. I'm waiting for my first kiss. I don't expect anything "romantic," cause I'm not into all that shit. I like subtle things, laid back, not all romance.
But the holidays are coming up, so I'm hoping to get to know him a bit better without my heart nearly jumping into my throat and making me choke on my own spit.
He always comes over for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Halloween. And last Christmas, my aunt literally squished us together in a hug. He hugged back and I didn't wanna let go, but I had to.
Can I be anymore obvious?
I know he loves fantasy books just like me. In fact, he bought me the rest of the Divergent Trilogy for Christmas last year.
And when that happened, my cousin shouted, "Boyfriend and Girlfriend!"
We both never said anything but we were both smiling and blushing. I just pretended like it never happened. But I wish it was real, him and I.
We'll see what happens later on with us. If I can keep a straight face and prevent myself from shaking when I talk to him, maybe I can see who he really likes. I just don't wanna get my hopes up too high in fear of being totally crushed and my self esteem plummets even further to the core of the Earth than it already is right now.
I'm dreading to ever hear the words, "I just wanna be friends" or "I'm sorry, but I don't want to date you."
I see how he looks at me, and it seems he wants to come up to me, but I'm not sure of anything just yet.
I've been to his house many times, I just went to his house for his mom's birthday last month. Even though my anxiety went through the roof, it was fun when I finally warmed up and was playing games with him. We were just talking and laughing everything we saw.
He raised his voice for the first time, or the first time I'd ever heard. His sister and little cousins were being loud, and we couldn't hear the Bop-it, so he yelled at her to shut up.
He was laughing and I was, too. I had the most fun in a very long time that night, and I was upset when I had to leave because of my aunt, who was by my side the entire night.
He'll come up to me if he sees me by myself, and we actually ate together on Christmas Eve, right before we opened gifts. We were just talking and laughing. It was honestly one of the best nights of my life.
At the end of that night, I ended up passed out in my room with Insurgent by my side. It was the only thing I really wanted that year, and he got it for me.
You don't know how wide I'm smiling right now!
And then on Sunday when he called me and personally invited me to his house for the party, it made me really smile. But then I couldn't go. -.- Thanks, Mom.
Anyway, there you go. There's a lot more moments, but those are the main ones. This already too long and I've got class at nine am.
Feel free to comment on what you thought of this or what you think of him based on what I told you.
This is not edited, sorry. I'm too busy smiling and yawning.
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FAM: This is the only real crush I've ever had.
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Sierra 🌟