Just Like a Puzzle [Completed: 2015]

Chapter 10

It's already 10 PM at nagsisimula na rin ang farewell party para sa amin ni Dice. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero naisipan kong mag-log in sa wattpad. And the time I checked my inbox there's no more message from him but there's one thing that really breaks my heart into pieces.

secretlywaiting has closed their account. You can no longer send messages to them.

He's no longer there. He left me without explaining why. I feel the beating of my heart, it's unexplainable. I don't understand but I think it became harder for me to breathe.

"Hey, you okay?" Nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mga mata. And then I found myself hugging him while I'm crying.

"Ang sakit-sakit... sobrang sakit... bakit may mga taong bigla na lang darating sa buhay mo tapos bigla ring aalis..." He caressed my back. "Bakit kung kailan nahulog ka na... tsaka naman siya biglang mawawala." I cried even more. "Akala ko kasi....he feel the same way.... But I guess I was wrong." I said almost a whisper. "Ang sakit-sakit... sobra-sobrang sakit... Gusto kong sabihin sana... Sana hindi ko na lang siya nakilala.... Pero ang hirap kasi alam na alam ko sa sarili ko na sobrang saya ko nung makilala ko siya." He didn't say anything. He keep quiet and just listen to me as if he really knew what I'm feeling right now.

Halos paghikbi na lang ang ginagawa ko. And then someone started singing na naging dahilan kung bakit mas lalo lang ulit akong napaiyak.

Why do people fall in love
And then end up crying
Why do lovers walk away from themselves
When their hearts are breaking
Why does loving sometimes never stay long
Why does kissing this time mean you'll be gone
Why does gladness become sadness
Things that I don't get

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Umiyak na lang ako ng umiyak habang nakayakap pa rin ako kay Dice. Hinayaan ko na lang ang kanta ang magsabi sa kung anong nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Someone's always saying goodbye
I believe it hurts when we cry
Don't we know partings never so easy
And with all the aching's inside
I believe some hearts will survive
Trying hard to pretend that were gonna be fine

Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga? Babalik ka pa ba? O ayaw mo na talaga? Ang unfair mo naman kasi MR. 10PM eh. Iniwan mo agad ako. Hindi pa nga kita kilala.

I could never really love
Someone else but you
(No one else but you)
I have never wanted anything else
But a love so true
But just like a dream that comes in the night
In the morning you were out of my sight
Turned away from me, sadly as I see
Away from where I stand

Sobrang sakit alam mo yun? Sobrang sakit na maiwan, sobrang sakit na hindi mo alam kung bakit ka ba iniwan at sobrang sakit kasi hindi mo alam kung may babalik pa ba o kung dapat ka pang maghintay.

Someone's always saying goodbye
I believe it hurts when we cry
Don't we know partings never so easy
And with all the aching's inside
I believe some hearts will survive
Trying hard to pretend that were gonna be fine

Ako lang ba ang nasasaktan ng ganito? Ako lang ba? Ganun na lang ba kadali para sayo na kalimutan lahat. Kung sa bagay sino nga naman ba ako sayo. Bakit kasi ganon? Bakit hindi ka man lang nagpaalam pero okay na rin 'to. Kasi kung nagpaalam ka mas mahihirapan akong mag-move on.

I have to move on. I know it wasn't that easy but I have to let go someone I don't want to let go. Goodbye MR. 10PM... Thanks for all the memories.

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(10/12/15)