lemon lavender & long nights

And you call this love?

He has the ability to make you pity him, twisting your words and making himself out to be the victim, not you.  Oh no, you're always the perpetrator in his dull eyes, but you're also always the light and source of happiness in his heart, which is just bound to create a fucked-up mind – and boy does he have one. Who can really be sane when the villain is also their hero?

He pretends he has his feelings under control when in reality he doesn't even understand them himself.  On the outside he's emotionless; he's become skilled at faking apathy towards everyone, but don't let that fool you. He'll cry behind locked doors and wipe his tears away soon enough so you don't see the pain when he smiles, but if you look closely you can see the remnants of bloodshot eyes from the night before.

He befriends people without even trying, but he's never known how to keep them long enough for it to matter anyway.  He'll pull you close while you're still strangers and make you feel like he'll always be there, and the next thing you know, he's gone, oh he's gone.  He'll be screaming shitty lyrics at his deathbed, which'll be by his own hand, surrounded by empty pill containers and beer bottles and the desire for something more.  "Loved by many, I'm still lonely."

He's learned how to hide in a shell of flattery, yet he can't even take a compliment himself without denying it and then deflecting it straight back at you.  He's constantly getting caught up in the moment of things, and he'll forget all he promised you till the last second and then convince you that he truly cares.

And he does, oh he does.  He told you himself.

He'll tell you his passions and how you inspire him, only he doesn't let you know that his creative side is full of skulls and crossbones. He'll tell you he's a monster, and then he'll read you his black rose poetry and play you an original song in exchange for your pathetic excuse for stardust. And even though you'll think you're the one that's taming the monster that lives inside, his heart will shrivel up against your touch once you dig too deep. At least he warned you, right?

He's self destructive and manipulative, but he's not just lying to himself when he tries to stop talking to you.  He cares, oh god he cares, but it's too much and he can't keep up his apathetic mindset like this.  He can barely keep it secured without you around.

So he'll push you away and stare at you with cold eyes when you ask him why he's doing this, even though you already know the answer he's not gonna give. He takes the word ribcage literally and has never let anyone in and doesn't plan on changing that for you. He's got barbed wire around his lungs and even though it's hard to breathe, he doesn't care because it keeps everyone out. Even though you try so hard to cut through them and unlock his cage, eventually you'll realize there was never a key to begin with.

[You're the opposite, breaking your own ribs with your bare hands and giving your heart away for free. You'll tear through layers of skin and even though it may heal, scars still mar the surface and you're empty inside. You and him are alike in your self-destructive habits – same game, different weapons. But no matter whether or not you choose to shed your skin, it's your downfall because you chose to play in the first place.]