Journey of the Heart (Camila/OC)

Chapter Thirty-Two

I sent Charlie a plea for salvation but the doors closed before he could even act. I was trapped. Literally because Lauren had the bright idea to pull the stop button on the elevator causing us to come to a screeching halt. 

Dinah and the others turned to me with arms crossed and glares that could burn anyone. 

"Explain," Dinah demanded. 

I looked between all three of them glad that they didn't bring Ally into this little interrogation. If they did then I knew they were really made at me. If even Ally was on board with this, I was in serious trouble. 

"Listen-"

"No, you listen. You broke our friend's heart with a single word," Normani hissed. "Do you know how many nights we've all had to hear her cries in the bunks, in her room, in the dressing room?" She asked but not really since we all knew the answer. "Every single fucking night." 

"I didn't-" 

"Didn't what?" Dinah jumped in. "Didn't mean to hurt her. Didn't mean to break her heart into a million pieces. Didn't just string her along just to bring back into the depths of hell. That's not cool, Alex." 

"And you don't think I'm in hell?" I stood up for myself, finding the courage from out of nowhere. "I know what I have done. I know what I did to her. I know how broken up she is because I am going through the exact same thing." 

"Then why did you do it knowing you were breaking each other's heart?" Dinah exclaimed. 

"Because," I paused. "Because." 

Was I really going to tell them? Tell them that I can't be with her because I am too guilt ridden knowing who beats within me.

I couldn't. They would hate me even more than they are already do. I would rather have them hate me for breaking Camila's heart than for stealing Sofi's. 

"Answer," Lauren shouted as she neared me with intent. 

My heart raced in fear. I knew they weren't going to hurt. They weren't that type of people. But this closed off space and the fact that this was all happening in an elevator. It kind of freaked me out. I now knew how claustrophobia felt. It was damn drowning. 

"Answer," Lauren repeated. "Or just admit that all you do is ruin people's lives." 

"Lauren," Dinah warned. 

It was too late. The words had already sunk into me. 

That was what I do. 

I ruined lives. 

"You're right," I admitted mostly to myself than to the three ladies in the elevator with me. 

"Alex, she didn't-" 

"All I've ever done in my life was ruin people's lives," I continued as if I didn't just interrupt Normani. I had to get this all out. "I ruined my parents' lives when they found out that they were expecting me. They were on top of the world. They were climbing up the chains of business but they had to put that all on hold in order to take care of their little burden." 

"Alex," Dinah's voice was laced with so much guilt. The others couldn't even bare to look me in the eye.

So I just continued. 

"I ruined Charlie's life. I was too attached and that was what ruined him. I refused to let him leave my side because he was the only person I had in my life while growing up. I didn't know that he had family but i didn't care. I just pulled him further and further away from them. You know. He hasn't seen his family in over six years because I am just such a fucking screw up that I need him to watch over me twenty four seven just in case I try to kill myself again."